Harrison Beck

Harrison Beck is apparently having some issues that could impact his future as a Husker.

Article here...

He is back home in Florida, and the team is practicing without him. Beck is done, IMO, and will not be returning.

1.) Coach Callahan should not let him back.
2.) Harrison's mom, who is making comments left and right, needs to be aware of how shooting your mouth off can inhibit his son's career.

The next time he sets foot into a locker room, how many "mom" jokes do you think he will encounter? Hopefully about a million. The kid, whom many message board nerds had virtual orgasms over, is getting a lot of grief from the same orgasm-having nerds.

This is why people shouldn't get all fired up about athletes until they prove themselves. Especially 18 year-olds with high Rivals rankings. :::yawn::: Some kids do not have the maturity level to handle the life decisions they are making without adverse reaction. Beck's reaction to not being the starter is absolutely immature, and all his mother is doing is amplifying feelings she is getting from her son. People slamming his mom also need to slam Beck himself. She isn't picking her comments out of the air, and then he is mysteriously disappearing from practices.

A recent thread about Beck on a message board was an absolute laugh riot...

On July 26th, columbushusker writes "i say he will be 3rd string. i just have a feeling that he is a washout and will never be anything. i dunno just something about him makes me think he will not play this year."

Well, we can't have statements like that!!! Just ask these guys...

Huskerbo: I don't understand why a fan would "get a feeling" that one of their players would be a washout and then proceed to tell everybody that. I don't think I have ever seen a player dumped on so quickly and deemed a failure with so little evidence-and many of these comments come from supposed fans of his team. The attitude some people are taking towards him I find rather disgusting and is NOT how fans should act.

It is disgusting. It's almost as disgusting as not allowing someone to have an opposing viewpoint. Not quite, mind you, but close.

SCVHusker: Ok, I have you marked down as one who will NOT join the bandwagon when he becomes a leader of this team.

So is columbushusker taken off that list yet? SCV, let me know when Beck leads this team. I will mark you down as one who has no idea what the hell he is talking about.

Ankeny Husker Freak: Because the negativity has got to stop. Why some of you have this anomisty towards Bill Callahan, his staff, and players is beyond me. Those who constant question Coach Callahan, his staff, and players on every little thing, come across to me as being "you'll never accept what Coach Callahan and his staff accomplishes because it's not done the "Nebraska way", whatever that is and you, Columbus and others feel like you can get away with it because you conclude your asinane & negative comments with "I hope i'm wrong". Well guess what, you shouldn't get away with and like I said before, huge kudos to those who've called Columbus out on his stupid & negative comments.

Yeah, columbus!! You shouldn't get away with it!! Maybe you should have the shit knocked out of you! How about chopping off your pinky finger!!!! No wait, maybe you should be forced to wear a dress in public!! No, no!! Wait!! You should douse yourself with gasoline in the middle of a crowded shopping mall!! Better yet, maybe you and YOUR mom should be the ones to die a painful death. That's more like it, and it would then be consistent.

Optimism is the same thing as hypocrisy to the BRB types. Only THEIR optimism is allowed, and as opposed to trying to sway someone's opinion through optimism and logic, they do it in attack format. Yeah, that's something to be proud of. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, they are the same guys who had their asses handed to them in every aspect of their lives, and are simply taking it out on people anonymously. So columbus and others, remember that when they are baiting you, they would never in a zillion years have the nads to do it to your face, it's why they are "Internet Tough Guys". It's like having a 2 month old crack baby yelling at you. It can't help itsself.

The angst of Husker fans on the internet is like going to a Nine Inch Nails concert.

Let this be a lesson, folks: you can't ever have any opinion different from those who are wiping off their monitors due to excess protein discharge whilst slappin' it to Nebraska's Athletic Director. If you do, they will show you optimism through force. You know, like a concentration camp.

Miami Vice

When I heard that they were making this movie, I cringed. Look at Starsky & Hutch, Dukes of Hazzard, and so on.

Say what you want about the fashion-sense of the 80's, the original Vice had stories that were dark, intense, and rarely had any cheesy happy endings.

When I saw the casting for this movie, that was a start. It's not like they cast Adam Sandler as Crockett and (insert Wayans brother here) as Tubbs. That would have thrown the movie on the list of "never see" for me. When I heard that Michael Mann was in charge, I started feeling even better about it. Mann, if you'll recall, was also in charge of the TV show.

I hit the theater a little early for the 10:20 showing. As I am watching people file out of the theater, the mood seemed fine. No gut-busting laughter, etc.

In a nutshell, this movies was excellent. Dark and intense from the beginning until the end. Colin Farrell had a brief bout with another accent early in the film, but was very solid in the movie. Jamie Fox was also awesome in his performance. That, and there were no pastels, or sock-less loafers. I am not sure what kind of Ferrari was used, but it looked like the F430. I suppose I could do some research on it, but that would require some effort.

This was not a campy spin-off of a TV show that makes you wonder why Hollywood is not the victim of relentless air-bombing. This was a well thought out story that paid homage to a series that was ground breaking in its serious tone/approach to counter the typical buddy cop crap that still persists in movies today.

See it.

Point/Counter-Point

Bush vs. Stem-Cell Research

Steve: Stem-cell research? P'shaw. Bush has every right to throw that idea down the tubes. Look, if it isn't oil, a baseball team, or cocaine, our President can't possibly establish a frame of reference. Besides, the next thing you know, they'll be using those stem-cell thingies to have people growing baby arms out of the smalls of their backs. That just ain't natural. How can those stem-cells help people when they are on their sprawling ranches in Texas? I have broken an arm, leg, and my nose before, and I didn't need any stem-cells to make me bionic.

Steve Austin was the Six Million Dollar Man, and that was a TV show. Not real. I don't want to have Steve Austin fighting a probe and have to worry about our nation playing around with stem-cells. America's first bionic couple, Steve Austin and Jamie Summers, don't need that kind of stress in their lives when they are making little bionic babies. What about lasers? Maybe we could use lasers to cut holes in the wal!l as if we were to run through the wall, Wile E. Coyote style? That would be cool.



Buddy: Starting from a position of fear and paranoia to determine the course of scientific progress is the devil’s playground my friend. Your argument is nothing more than a modernized version of the Salem Witch Hunts. True, there is a need for caution. True, there is a need for regulations. But to deny the possibilities outright for no better reason than to pander to the ignorant superstitions, propaganda, and prejudices of a powerful yet misled sliver of the population in order to make up lost ground in the upcoming midterm election is par for the course with this president and his administration. I bet you’d change your tune if that baby arm was growing under your belly within reach of your think tank. So go dance around your fire, finish a cave drawing, and repel with fear at the sight of progress and leave the science thingy’s to the “uprights”. Isn’t it time for you to do your homework? I’ll get the T.V. Guide.

North Korea vs. Iran

Steve: North Korea's Kim Jong Il has the market cornered on insanity. The guy had South Korean film director Shin Sang-ok and his actress wife, Choe Eun-hui, KIDNAPPED so he could start a movie industry in North Korea. It's said that he has fathered 13 illegitimate children. If this guy isn't running for the Democratic ticket in '08, I don't know who should be.

Let's see, nukes in the hand of a crazy person? Make North Korea a parking lot. Now.

Buddy: I don’t disagree with your argument, but I have to go with Iran. The truth is I’m still pissed off about the whole hostage thing and their current president was in on the whole thing. I’m not sure what role he actually played because I don’t feel like researching but I definitely heard it somewhere. Listen, every country has radical extremists but why does the Middle East have so many? I’ll tell you why. Sexual repression. Any time a community of men can’t get a regular look at a little T&A or cop the occasional feel they go nuts and start killing things. It’s true. When was the last time we had a bombing or school shooting in America by someone who was getting some? It is always geeks and outcasts with bad skin. That’s why Kim Jong Il doesn’t really worry me…he’s getting plenty.

Why didn’t Clinton take a stronger stand against terrorists and let the military dwindle? He was getting a lot. Why is Bush so eager to go to war? You figure it out. I put it to all my readers, stop sending troops and send porn. We’ll make a little mess and save a lot of lives.

Brandon Routh vs. Christopher Reeve

Steve: Wow. What a crappy luck of the draw. I have to choose Routh for one reason: he isn't crippled. This is not to make fun of Reeve, but that tragedy is exactly that: a tragedy. Routh has his whole life in front of him, and did an admirable job in the new Supes flick.

As I am sitting here, one other EXCELLENT reason to pick Routh has occurred to me. Brandon Routh has not shared spit with crazed has-been Margot Kidder. 'nuff said.

Buddy: All I hear about this new Superman flick is what a good job Routh did impersonating Christopher Reeve. I quote the Author of this very blog, “Brandon Routh did a nice job in the role. Very Reeve-esque as Clark Kent.” Is margarine better than butter? Is Steve Connolly better than Elvis? Brandon Routh did nothing more than conjure up the memory of the one great Superman/Clark Kent. And don’t try that cheap Margot Kidder cop out. Anybody could kiss Kate Bosworth. Only a true hero could or would kiss the hag Reeve kissed.


Carbs vs. Protein

Buddy: If you’re so into protein I have an all meat diet for you. BING! But seriously, Carbohydrates are the most abundant class of organic compounds found in living organisms. They originate as products of photosynthesis, an endothermic reductive condensation of carbon dioxide requiring light energy and the pigment chlorophyll.n CO2 + n H2O + energy CnH2nOn + n O2

So as you can see they are very important to have. Besides, I tried the Atkins Diet once and after a week I couldn’t take it any more. I even had dreams about meat. Of course, this is no big deal for you because you always dream about meat. BING!

Steve: Bing? Twice? I feel like I'm watching zany comedian Rip Taylor running through a studio audience throwing confetti on people. Anyways, now when I think of carbs, I will think of science class. When I think of science class, I think of Mr. Thompson throwing my brother out of class for not having a pencil. When I think of my brother being thrown out of science class for not having a pencil, I think of how much different that day would have been for him had he had a pencil.

Back to protein. Steak = protein. Case closed. Don't get me wrong, carbs are awesome, especially in the form of Italian bread or potatoes. These two are so intertwined when it comes to what makes up a kickass meal, it's not even funny. What is funny is watching Sylvester Stallone beat up slabs of protein in Rocky.

Barbaro vs. Ryan

Buddy: Let me start by saying that Barbarro is a story that America cares about. He’s a champion. He’s innocent. He’s a hero that all Americans can rally around as a source of hope and inspiration in that we don’t have to accept and be restrained by the old rules, rather we can move forward and forge new paths of glory. Barbarro is an American icon who will live on in our hearts well after he is gone. Ryan on the other hand is a funny little guy with some peculiar notions on capitalism. If we left it to Ryan we would tear down the very fabric of what makes this country great. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy. He saved my ass in Nam when we were kids. That is to say he saved my ass from NAMBLA. Anyway, you have to wonder why Ryan hates Barbarro so much. I mean this level of odium is usually reserved for the great rivalries of history like Lincoln and Douglas; Hitler and Ava Braun; my mom and dad…but for Ryan to abhor this horse so much hints at a deeper problem. What that is we may never know but one question remains…does Ryan have a problem with the horse or does Ryan have a problem with Ryan.

Steve: Wow. Let me ask you a question, Buddy. Have you been raped by a horse lately? Ever?! I will tell you, my friend, I haven't either. Let's put ourselves in Ryan's shoes. Not saying he has been horse-raped at all. I was just wondering if you have ever been taken sexually by a horse. Ryan's disdain for our future bottle of Elmer's is to be commended. I, for one, am also tired of hearing about it. You see, I will never tire of headlines about Iraq, North Korea, Bush screwing up a word, Jessica Simpson, Tiger Woods, or how evil conservatives are. We don't get those headlines enough. I know when I read thousands of articles like that daily, I still do not get my fill. Imagine my surprise to see the Barbarro articles after being so gloriously mind-numbed by the media. What are they thinking? I am not mentally prepared to handle anything but sensationalistic alarmism. Bastards.

Rush vs. Florida Customs

Buddy: Listen, Rush needs Viagra because everyone is trying to screw him. It is hard enough for Rush to face the daily pressures of mega stardom without every Tom, Dick, and Harry trying to catch him with his pants down. Florida customs has the right to search and the right to detain and even the right to question the seemingly mislabeled prescription for Viagra. But they called the press. They invited the media down in an obvious attempt to embarrass Mr.Limbaugh. I challenge the Florida jelly fingers to call the media every time they come across a suspected misdemeanor. Good job fellas! As far as I’m concerned this bunch of dangling CHADs are just looking for a story to tell their grandchildren about the day they stuck it to Rush Limbaugh.

(Ghost-written by Sonny Crockett): Look pal, we have a job to do, and I don't care whether you like it or not. Tubbs and I rely on Florida customs to help us save lives, pal. Who knows what other forms of smack Limbaugh had on him, pal? If I had my way, pal, they'd search every radio host with priors. Listen pal, I'm more than happy to beat this point into your head, because you just won't get it and never will. Pal. Pal pal pal pal pal. Pal! How much is Viagra, anyway. Pal?

Superman Sorta Returns

You know, I give this movie a thumbs up, with conditions. I am viewing my opinion of the movie after Ryan informed me that it seemed as if Lex Luthor gave Superman a Kryptonite shard in the ass.

It made me rethink my opinion of how Lex served his prison time.

Okay, we'll get to the conditions in a second...first the good stuff.

The special effects were great, as they should be. The whole "listening from space" thing was a pretty cool idea. Brandon Routh did a nice job in the role. Very Reeve-esque as Clark Kent. Huge props to Kevin Spacey who ushers in a great performance, as usual.

CONDITIONS

1.) You are ok with real estate being the motivator in killing millions.
2.) You are also ok with the rationale that you will get away with the scheme because people will buy the property.
3.) You are also ok that the property itsself really sucks.
4.) Lois Lane had Mr. Morality's baby. Superman having a child, and not being married to the mother, kind of takes away from the whole schtick, doesn't it? Ryan also mentioned that a superbaby kick while in the womb could be potentially disastrous. I agree to a point. Superman's powers come from the sun, so maybe the baby has to "charge up"? Regardless, I don't want to get into the "Super-semen" debate and what kind of damage that could cause, people. That's just sick and wrong, so stop thinking about it.
5.) Superman's exposure to kryptonite sure seems a little inconsistent. He has an assload of kryptonite inside of him. He should be dead. Period.

All in all, I liked it. As with any movie about dudes flying around in tights, you need to suspend reality a bit.

Debunking Morons

Hi! Good to see you. I have beer in the fridge.

Recently, my support of the coaches was questioned.

http://bighuskerfan.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=345147&highlight=#345147

On BHF, I respect their moderation policies. Here, however, I can say that Boy1derrrr is an absolute idiot, without question. Aside from his cool chick-ogling pictures in a bar, his post provides zero proof. In this very blog I have shown support for our coaches. Callahan in particular.

On Huskerpedia, let's look at some other proof for our "in-need-of-JennyCraig" friend...

http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=493201#post493201
http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=496676#post496676
http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=498538#post498538
http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=498654#post498654
http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=502456#post502456
http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=517669#post517669
http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=522281#post522281
http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=522974#post522974
http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?p=583730#post583730

I got bored of searching...

So, BoyAssMangler, I submit even more proof to you.

Have fun!

Open Letter To "Rod"

Recently I was on a message board watching some flamers (no, not the gay kind), and saw this link...

http://huskerhell.blogspot.com

"Rod", I gotta tell ya, while you are spot-on, maybe coaches and AD's should not be bothered with stupid crap like this? A couple reasons why...

1.) We need to remember that the message board in question is completely easy to trap/make look stupid. Their members are predictable in every way. Example: Frank Solich and his GHB claim. It was only a matter of time before someone started exploiting and making fun of the drug. They think they are making fun of Solich, but any woman who has been brutally raped while under the influence of said drug may not find cutesy avatars saying "Got GHB" so cute. That's the beauty of these guys. They are extremists, and nothing is easier than making an extremist make an ass out of himself.
2.) Elevated self-importance. The aforementioned nutjobs also believe they are, alone, the saving grace of Husker nation, and everyone else is garbage. When you send a letter to a coach and an AD, I really think you are enabling their delusions of grandeur.

Again, spot on with your observations, but let's keep it where it belongs: on message boards (plural) that no one at Nebraska athletics gives a rip about. Any administrator worth ANYTHING would do well to distance themselves from people who make fun of date-rape drugs, alcoholism (as that could potentially alienate the majority of the "TV" fan-base), and are so utterly vulgar, that it would make most hookers hanging out at 25th and Farnam blush.

Piece of advice, "Rod": get on a board somewhere and rile 'em up. I joined a board with a lot of these yahoos on it, and it was fun watching them self-destruct. Perspective is valuable, and it's important to keep it when dealing with people who haven't had a date with a female. Ever.

D to the ildo

LOL! Bugtussle, who from this point forward will be known as Nimrod, posts this doozy on BigDeadBoard...

"And the trolls wonder why we left them to stew in their own bile."

Link, please. Trolls would be every single member of the Huskerpedia message board. Name one who wonders why you societal rejects are gone, or gives a shit. Oh that's right, no one does.

At least Huskerdave finally got it. Chalk up another one for the old failed test. Anything assumed to be linked to a "troll" has to be crap. Even when the "troll" in question didn't do it.

The idiocy never ceases. Wonder how long it will be before Chad moves the thread.

Gimme Two!

Here are two reasons to watch American Idol...




















Hoo boy.

Anyway, let's answer some mail! These are e-mails from people who apparently are not comfortable leaving a public comment.

Fucker,

Your blog is gay and so are you. Rot in hell.

This was unsigned, and I will refrain from posting the non-descript e-mail address. That said, I enjoyed your comments! Hopefully you will write more, as your scintillating banter is certainly witty and not hate-filled. I also hope that when you get out of prison/your mom's basement you will have turned that frown upside down.

Steve- What do you think of Beck's play so far this spring?

I can only go off of reports I read on the net or the paper since I seem to have misplaced my invitation to practice, but from what I have read, the guy, while talented, isn't quite ready to take the keys and drive by himself. What I wonder is how the guys who projected him to be the next coming of Christ feel (besides the general excuses). Naturally he will continue to develop in the system, but I can't see him breaking many records at Nebraska.

Dude Fergie is steaming hot.

I am going to go out on a limb here and agree with that. They'll be in Chicago soon. I'm sure all the scantily clad Fergie wannabes will be in attendance trying to figure out just what they will do with all that junk. All that junk insi-dat trunk.

Pistons will lose to San Antonio in the finals this year. Just so you know.

Listen bub, call me and my blog gay. Stalk me, create fake usernames on my defuct message board, but this? I mean, come on.

Seriously, if that's how we end up (SA and DET), it's going to be a great series. Home court advantage could mean everything here. Detroit's record at home is awesome. The Spurs are no slouch, either. Look for Phoenix to step it up in the off-season. I base that on Nash's ability to lead, and the fact that I just want the Lakers to take a wrong turn on the way to the playoffs, and end up in Fallujah.

Flight of the Pop-Tart

The other day, I was having a very high-level meeting with a former business associate. It was so high-level that I couldn't expect you to fully comprehend the magnitude of the discussion. It's just not fair to ask you to increase your clarity that much. Asking you to do so would be like asking Salma Hayek to be an ugly hag. We all know that will not happen.

Allow me to break it down for you. Pop-Tarts need an overhaul.













For many years, Pop-tarts have been available to the public, offering a completely unhealthy, yet tasty, breakfast alternative for those with an "on-the-go" lifestyle. The nice thing about Pop-Tarts is that it allows you to justify being too friggin' lazy to get your @$$ up and cook breakfast by implying the aforementioned "on-the-go" lifestyle. As a kid, I'd have taken Blueberry Pop-Tarts over eggs and bacon any day of the week. As an adult…not much has really changed.

In a nutshell, we've been given alternative choices with several products over the years: Oreos have given us multiple flavors, and most importantly, they gave us "Double Stuff" Oreos. If this isn't a sign that there is a God in Heaven, then you need to get to church, pal. By allowing us to indulge by doubling our stuff (I think "stuff" is also the technical term for the white crap). My idea for "Quad-Stuff Oreos" is the stuff of another blog.

Capt'n Crunch also, at one time, sold boxes of Crunch Berries WITH ONLY THE BERRIES. Someone out there is getting it, people. For the love of all that is holy, eating cereal devoid of the crunch, and just containing the berries is what dreams are made of, my friend.

With Pop-Tarts, I contend they also need to double their stuff, to create, as my esteemed colleague called it, a "Super-Tart", perhaps a "Mega-Tart". There's a science behind eating a Pop-Tart, so you can enjoy the filling.

1.) Eat the side crusts.
2.) Each "end crust" contains trace amounts of frosting. Select the side with the least, and eat that part next.
3.) Eat the remaining, frosting-laden end crust.
4.) You are now ready to eat the remainder of the Pop-Tart. Enjoy!

As an alternative, I have found that if you make two, you follow the same procedure, but stack the middle after you've annhilated the sides and ends. This creates a faux-Super-Tart. Fortunately, I have already organized a letter writing campaign to the good folks at Pop-Tart International. We are on fire right now with zero letters. At this rate, I expect the face of quick breakfast solutions to be changed by the year 2036. Who is with me?

Blog Neglect Is A Crime!

Well, it's not really a crime. It's more of a case of the "travels". For the people who have been asking where the updates are, I've been spending way too much time in airports, and when I am home, I am spending time with the family. I have no trips until April, then I travel quite a bit between then and the end of fall. So chances are high there will not be a lot of updates. Darn, I know.

Let's run down the list of crap...

Pistons Hit 50

50 wins and 12 losses. Though the Pistons have lost 3 of the last 5, they are still headed for a pretty nice post-season. It was cool to see 4 Pistons in at the same time during the All-Star game, even though All-Star games are generally played at about 80%.

The freakin' LAKERS beat the Pistons. Ugh.

Welcome Back Bob and Virginia!

Heh. Old Bob gets to watch his wife act like a sloot on a message board to other posters. The fun!

Lucky #1

Marlon Lucky is topping the charts with his hit "No Holes To Run Through". Seriously, he's heading into spring in the top spot and I wish him well. The running game is a focus for Callahan and his staff. They've been doing great fixing things up. Special teams aren't near as "short bus-special" as they were, and the receivers started to catch balls thrown by wonder-QB Zac Taylor. I can't get enough of this guy, and hope he continues to play like a champ (barring injury and crappy line play, he'll do just fine). I'd also like to see him play Sundays after he graduates. Might be a reason to watch the pros. That's as far as I go though, my friends. Unlike others, I do not need any BRB towels to wipe up any man-chowder due to excessive man-crushes that result in a tailgate circle jerk infested by self-promoting nutsuckers who use the word "stud" way too much when referring to other men.

Bits & Pieces

Marcus Vick got out of a jail term. We're just delaying the inevitable here.

Slobodan Milosevic checks out, much to the delight of trillions.

Fewer news stories offer depth. The same can be said about this blog.

Later!

Music "Review"

What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?

Clearly the male here is showing concern with the female, and her choice of lifestyle/wardrobe. I mean, it’s a fair question. When one dresses provocatively, certain questions come up. It’s not at all meant to imply that by dressing skimpy, or flaunting yourself in a provocative nature means that you’re “asking for it”.

I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

The female in question here is in dire need of attention, and seems quite confident in her physical appearance. This can be a very unhealthy mix, and can lead to bad things.

I drive these brothers crazy, I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely, They buy me all these ice-s.
Dolce & Gabbana, Fendi and then Donna
Karen, they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’ Fly gear but I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n, Se7en Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin’ So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t fakin’ We can keep on datin’
I keep on demonstrating.

Our young friend is getting unwanted attention, yet accepts it anyway. By doing so, she is perpetuating an environment of continued sexual harassment. By telling these potential suitors “no” up front, she saves all involved time, trouble, and gains a higher level of self-worth in doing so.

When a relationship is based off of love of one’s “ass”, there is certainly trouble brewing.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me

Again, there’s a re-affirmation of her physical attributes, and how impressive she perceives them to be. Here, also, the male admits that she’s got him spendin’. He has a serious lack of self-control, when he is attempting to court a young lady who tells him no. She, however, must shoulder some blame, as she is leading the young man on.

What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass? All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

More of the same, really. The fact that she is completely aware that she is, in fact, leading this young man to believe that he may have a chance at tapping our young lady friend here is preposterous.

I met a girl down at the disco. She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go. I could be your baby, you can be my honey Lets spend time not money. I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff, Milky, milky cocoa, Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

The young man in question has apparently had absolutely no luck in a real relationship. The dialogue he shares with a potential mate is shallow, at best. My main concern is that he may not be eating a nutritious breakfast. Cocoa Puffs, while delicious, is not the best thing one could be eating in the morning. Remember folks, it’s “part” of this nutritious breakfast. On the commercial, that would usually include fruit, orange juice, and toast. If he wants to spend time, and not money, a dozen eggs takes your dollar a lot further than a box of Cocoa Puffs.

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it, If u touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama,
no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.

Here she goes again, practically throwing herself at these men, yet when push comes to shove, she is pulling the “oh no you di’int” card when these fellows are trying to feel her hump, hump. By telling these men to not pull her hand because “you ain’t my man, boy” just tells the whole story. Abuse is acceptable to her if it comes from one’s partner, as opposed to your typical hump/lump feeler.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps x3
In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.
What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass? All that ass inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk, Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast? All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She’s got me spendin’. S
pendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

She is consistent…that I will tell you for free. She is, however, informing him that she is going to make him work when questioned about “all that breast inside that shirt”. This clearly implied that this man has a chance, and from other indications, this is supposedly unwanted attention.

In conclusion, this is a poor reflection on today’s relationships, sets back women’s equality approximately 40 years, as well as shows what co-dependency can do to a person. I will state, however, that the video ROCKS, because that chick is a hottie!

Hodge-podge mish-mosh riff-raff

Garden of the Gods. What a great part of the country. My trip to Colorado Springs/Denver was a ton of fun. So much, that I'll be going back soon!

I took a lot of good pictures and was very "tourist-y". I was also glad to know that the Denver are has three Fuddrucker's. That's always good news.

The Inverness in Denver was very nice, and had a great view of the mountains.

In what has turned out to be an extremely overblown situation, Josh Freeman has *gasp* decided to go to Kansas State instead of Nebraska, after being a "strong" commit. The only ones in a real uproar about this are the nerds. The ones who play NCAA college football games on PS2/xbox, and have to "recruit" in the off-season. This, naturally, makes them experts. This happens all over the country every year. But I know it boosts ones self-esteem to trash the kid for making a decision he felt was best. REGARDLESS of how he did it. He's a freakin' kid. What the hell do you expect, maturity and life-experience? Hardly.

The Pistons are on a 5 game win streak and are sitting at 20-3. WHOO!

Count/Pointercount

Grown Men with Harry Potter Fever vs. Grown Men with Star Wars Fever

Steve: Grown men with Star Wars fever. Why? See that pic of Princess Leia? Normally I'd say 'nuff said. Not today, my friend. Harry Potter has made a bajillion dollars at the box office. Star Wars has, also. Grown men have a reason to be a little nerdish about Star Wars. Why? Well, for most of us, we saw it AS KIDS. Harry Potter stars children. I just can't watch it with any interest. Are there any kicka$$ Mandalorian bounty hunters in Harry Potter? Nope. Sure, a cool spider or some weird dog, but no force choke. No lightsaber. Imagine how much damage Potter could do with a light saber? Heads would literally roll. I could sign up for that. Harry Potter is missing high fatality counts, also. How many clones, officers, etc. were destroyed in either Death Star? Sure the second one may not have had as many bad guys as it had contractors hurrying to get the job done, but you know a crapload of people lost it. Harry Potter is missing that special "bite" that one gets from looking at Carrie Fisher before the drugs took hold.

Ryan: OK, I admit, Harry Potter does not have Mandalorian bounty hunters, nor does it have force chokes, lightsabers, the Force, stormtroopers, or Carrie Fisher in a metal bikini. What does it have? It has a basis in reality at least that people actually believe in wizards and witches, and have a real place in human culture. Remember the Salem Stormtrooper trials? Oh, or how about the Roman Galactic Empire? Let’s put it this way, if I have to choose between my dorky friend or family member dressing up as either a witch or a stormtrooper, I’m probably going to go with hanging myself.

Make another Star Trek series vs. For God's Sake let Star Trek Die

Steve: The theme song to Enterprise. Does anything else need to be said? How can we watch an aging Data? Isn't he an android? "Captain Picard, I apologize for my appearance. It seems my positronic relays have fused into the experimental aging chip that Geordi installed. I'm getting wrinkles and am swelling. Where's Spot?" Scotty's dead. So is Dr. McCoy. Sulu's gay, for God's sake. Shatner is more round than captain-ly. Throw Marina Sirtis in topless, and I pluck down the cash, otherwise, let's let it stand as is.

Ryan: Dude, make another one!!! Give us a ship named Enterprise and fly around space solving problems and stuff. Throw in an alien or two an we’re happy. Know why the last three shows sucked? The first was a space station that stayed in the same spot. Not good. Then, we had a ship sent to the nether regions of the galaxy. Not a bad premise, but apparently all the cool aliens live in the Alpha quadrant. And then, the show-that-must-not-be-named-starring-Scott-Bakula. That show was so bad it was nearly unspeakable. Listen, maybe it’s time to return to the old format…you know, Enterprise in danger and they solve the problem. We seemed to like that. Give us what we want. Lastly, have you seen Marina Sirtis lately? No offense, but I won’t be attending her Betazed wedding.

Improving Des Moines vs. Des Moines sucks no matter what you do

Steve: Des Moines sucks. Seriously. You can't get decent variety of pizza in this town. Be-Bop's is the best burger in town? Please go to Omaha and eat at Bronco's, or preferrably a strong chain like Fuddrucker's or Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger In Paradise, which is the best thing Buffet has ever done. Try to sit through this guy's music for more than an hour. To do so would mean you have to sniff Everest-sized drifts of the Columbian's finest white lady. Des Moines has some bright spots, without a doubt, but it's always going to be Omaha's little, stinkier brother. We could improve Des Moines by having newsbabes Stacey Horst, Elizabeth Klinge, and Lynn Melling oil wrestle on TV. See, I have solutions!

Ryan: We have a problem in Des Moines…and ironically, it’s that the name of our city is Des Moines. How are we supposed to get a sports team when most people can’t even pronounce the name of the city? We even had to name our Arena Football team the “Iowa” Barnstormers because no one thought the Dez Moy-nez Barnstormers sounded about as tough as it sounds. But hey, we have blue pedestrian bridges now!!

Here’s the solution…change the name to River City. The River City Rampage, the River City Rebels….”Hey man, I live in River City!!” “Wow, that’s pretty cool!” You know, we’re a city, we have a river running through the city…it just works. You can still have newscasters from Omaha oil wrestle…I’m flexible.

No water in Chinese town vs. No water in American town

Steve: I'd prefer to be without water in an American town, because I can whine to the U.S. government until enough people just start giving me hand-outs whilst I do nothing to improve my own situation. In China, if one is to whine about a lack of water, a tank comes out of nowhere to run your whiny- a$$ over. Period. I prefer to be run over by something other than a Commie gettin' his tank on. That's real.

Ryan: You know what’s real? The Chinese have a billion people. Running water is a must. And I think the tank driver’s restraint at not running over the Chinese student at Tienamen Square shows the Chinese government’s restraint. What are you, some kind of Chinese-hater?

The upper 1% vs. The rest of us

Steve: I have to go with the rest of us, because I have no frame of reference. Sure I can imagine what life would be like in the upper 1%. Salma Hayek cleaning my bathroom mirror naked, a Fuddrucker's built into my home, the ability to sell a jar of my own urine on eBay and get thousands for it...the list goes on. As it stands, I have to believe that if we band together, we could take 'em. I bought some bags of urine that we could throw at them!!

Ryan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I almost snorted my champagne out of my nose!!! All of you peons need to realize, we own you so thoroughly that you don’t even know that money really does grow on trees. Trees that only we know the location of. Speaking for all rich people, we aren’t satisfied until we have taken every last buffalo nickel from each and every poor person. Would you like to participate in a regressive tax on poor people that we like to call the “powerball”? No? We’ll see when the jackpot is over 200 million. Oh, and by the way, you show your ignorance of the rich lifestyle talking about Selma like that. Like she would just clean ANY surface while naked. She only waxes naked, and then it’s only on Onyx on perhaps Greek marble. Also, what is Fuddrucker’s? Is that some establishment where the poors gather to talk? Lastly, you will never gain any wealth trying to sell your urine that cheaply. My urine books at $10,000 per ounce minimum. Poor people make me laugh.

Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles vs. Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash

Steve: Go Johnny Cash! Mr. Cash's story, quite honestly, is more interesting. Forget that Ray Charles is blind, I give out no handicap points in this analysis. Cash was a bada$$. A rebel. Ray Charles' story is just kinda sad, really. I mean the guy couldn't even SEE the drugs he was taking in. Musically, Cash was more original, whereas Ray, who was great, just doesn't stand out in American culture the way Johnny Cash does. When Ray can posthumously cover a Nine Inch Nails song, color me impressed, until then, put on the man in black.

Ryan: Hi, I’m Earth. Have we met? Ray Charles is BLIND. You can’t just gloss over that. Cash was a rebel…you know why?

He took gospel sounds and turned them into country rock. You know who did that first? A guy named Ray Charles. Oh, and he fought against segregation in the south by refusing to perform before segregated audiences. You can’t be serious that Cash stands out more in our culture…Ray Charles got

more sympathy than Reagan did when they died. And, Ray sang the most compelling version of “America the Beautiful” ever!! Ever heard the term “Hit the Road, Jack?”

Hmmm….where did that come from? Lastly, it was impressive that Cash posthumously covered a song. Ray, posthumously won a Grammy. Five of ‘em.

Neither of us even mentioned the movies by the way. Having watched them both, they both rocked. Best line from Ray? “I make it do what it do.” Best line from Walk the Line? “He looks like he’s going to a funeral. (Cash says: “Maybe I am”.)

Pistons Over Knicks

What an awesome game lastnight between the Pistons and the Knicks. Detroit won at home 106-98.

Pictured left is Tayshaun Prince greeting his former coach before the game. All Piston starters went over to greet Knicks coach Larry Brown in a huge sign of class.

The game was tight in the first half, but things got ugly in the third. The Pistons put on a clinic, outpacing the Knicks 24-8 to go up 83-67. The Knicks brought it back within 5 with just over 3 minutes left in the game.

If anyone hasn't watched the Pistons play this year, they are missing out.


Piston legend, and my all-time favorite NBA player, Isiah Thomas was honored lastnight, unveiling his name and retired number on the court.

Thomas led the Pistons to back-to-back titles in 1989 and 1990.

As President of the Knicks, Thomas watched his team get their tails handed to them, but lastnight's game was more than points. It was a sign of sportsmanship between the two clubs, as well as Knick coach Larry Brown getting the Detroit trip out of the way.

Brown was not looking forward to it, but he handled himself well, and huge kudos to the Piston team for acknowledging Brown as they did. The NBA is starting to look better.

Rando

Larry Brown and his Knicks are playing Detroit. Obviously there needs to be some media-hype here, as it's Brown's first trip back to Detroit since leaving the team last year. Coach Flip Saunders and the Pistons are doing just fine, coming into the game at 11 wins and 2 losses, whereas New York is at 5-9.

Detroit is playing very well early on, and, unlike the Lions and Tigers, can lay claim to having a well-run organization in the Pistons. Condolences for the Detroit Lions' scapegoat, Steve Mariucci. Shut that team down and ship 'em out.

Former Nebraska coach Frank Solich pleaded no contest to driving while plastered. An unfortunate scenario for Ohio. The fallout on this should be interesting to see. A huge thumbs down to people who find this hilarious. Shows the typical classlessness expected by some. Some random quotes...

"Fuck Frank Solich."
"sorry, don't mean to laugh,,,,,,, who am I kidding "
"Frank the tank! Frank the tank!"

All class, there (insert raging sarcasm). What Solich did was inexcusable. No question. He has a responsibility, and he provided a horrible example. Hopefully this will not occur again, and he can learn from it, and not jeapordize anyone's safety.

I'm hoping for a Nebraska/Michigan bowl game. Since my wife is from Michigan, I'll take great joy when Zac Taylor picks apart the weak Michigan secondary. GO BIG RED! I'm also hoping that Texas takes down USC in the title game, this year. The mancrush people have on USC is the textbook definition of homo-erotic.

In personal news, I'm looking forward to my trip to Colorado December 11th thru the 14th. I'm flying into Denver around 1 pm on the 11th. Anyone know any good spots? I hear Garden of the Gods is supposed to be cool.

Snippets

First things first. A couple blogs ago, I said we do not have any evidence of "blowout victory".

We do now.

The Nebraska/Colorado game was artwork on virtually every level. One game does not a successful program make. But I know I have no problem with it! Keep this level of play up, and it's back to dominating consistently. Hats off to the Huskers!

Michael Irvin was busted with another drug charge. REALLY?? Wow, that's like being surprised when Lawrence Phillips gets arrested for...well, anything. They need to breakdown news stories into categories.

1.) Actual News.
2.) Same Old Crap.

Mr. Irvin is relegated to number 2 status. Well done, you stupid addict.

The Saddam Hussein trial starts, then stops again. There are few instances where a trial should be circumvented. For example, when a person is on video, taking their neighbors eyes out with a spoon, or if you are a former dictator who killed countless thousands of your people. This farce is going to last entirely too long.

In Rock and Roll Hall of Fame news, inductees included this year:

1.) Black Sabbath. Hmm. Not sure here. Iron Man is catchy, but that whole drugged out Satanic thing was overrated to begin with.
2.) Miles Davis. For sure, get him in there!
3.) Sex Pistols. I still think this is a joke by the Associated Press. I mean, come on.
4.) Blondie. The man from Mars is through with cars.
5.) Lynyrd Skynyrd. Heck yeah! It's about time, too.

Word.

Point/Counterpoint

Mortal Kombat series vs. Grand Theft Auto series

Ryan: I'm going with Grand Theft Auto. I realize that Mortal Kombat was the first of the "offensive games", but Grand Theft Auto has taken it to a whole new level. Sleeping with prostitutes, drive by shootings, and gang warfare aren't optional, you HAVE to do them. You can just kill innocent civilians at will, and then kill the cops! In fact, one of the best pastimes for fans of the game is to just indiscriminately kill everyone possible until the cops, FBI, even army are sent out to take you down. I once killed 1,000 people before I was taken out by an army helicopter. Rumor has it there is a mod that makes sex with your girlfriend a mini-game. Grand Theft auto is raising a whole generation of kids, the generation that will plunge our society into an extended darkness. I can't wait until the sequel comes out!!

Steve: You know, GTA has nowhere near the CREATIVE appeal that Mortal Kombat has. If I want GTA-style action, I can go to the closet, break out a couple of firearms, and hit the shopping mall. However, I can't put on my rice hat, and teleport behind you, then nail you with electricity that comes from MY HANDS. Or after pummeling you repeatedly, I'm not confident I could, in real life, grab you by the throat and pull your head off with your spine dangling, dripping gallons of blood. Real life scenarios aren't why one should play video games. Pr0stitutes, or beating the crap out of a four-armed Shokan warrior? Maybe you're right...

Disappointment of Iowa Fans Vs. Disappointment of Nebraska Fans

Ryan: Of course I'm going with Iowa. This was supposed to be the year that we became the dominant team in the Big 10, or at least secured our place with Michigan and Ohio St. as the annual teams to beat. We were the sexy pick for the national championship or at least the Big 10 title. But, after embarrassing losses to Iowa St. and Ohio St, an injury to our best receiver (Ed Hinkel), and losing two games that we led in the fourth quarter to Michigan and Northwestern (the first two times that Iowa has ever lost under Ferentz when leading after 3 quarters), I'd say that this season has been a miserable, over-hyped disappointment. Now we have to go to Wisconsin and win during Barry Alvarez's last home game and beat a pesky Minnesota team just to get a better bowl game than playing the MAC champion in the Motor City Bowl. PUKE. And now, the over-hype machine is starting to roll for basketball, which "should" "compete" for the Big 10 "title". Or, as I like to call it, be the best looking team in the NIT. Someone save me from this hype!

Steve: The disappointment of Nebraska fans is much worse, because it boils down to this: Nebraska has been consistently successful. Iowa has always been a schizo team. No one knows from one year to the next whether they will suck or not. With the Huskers expectations are being lowered from the kool-aid drinkers, while old timers find what is happening now inexcusable. This makes it a tough time to be a Husker fan. The fan base is polarized, while Iowa's fan base is used to complacency. :-)

Squeezing blood from a turnip vs. Nailing Jell-O to a tree

Ryan: Blood from a turnip. You know why? You can actually squeeze blood from a turnip. I've done it. It's called getting Scott Kilgore (our old boss) to give you a warranted compliment without also trying to tear you down. Wait, did that happen? Maybe I'm getting that confused with this dream I had where he disemboweled me in a field of bloody turnips. I get confused sometimes.

Steve: Nailing Jell-O to a tree. Why? I've also done it. It's called trying to reason with Scott Kilgore over...well...anything. "Hi Scott, we had a record night in sales lastnight, and we had zero turnover for the week!" I say. He replies, "Records aren't good enough, in fact nothing is good enough, try calling me back and telling me something impressive, like you just beat the crap out of God and stole his bike. Ingrate."

I guess the only consolation is the "relationship" I had with his wife.

Terrell Owens vs. The Eagles

Ryan: I'm going with Terrell Owens believe it or not. You know why? He is going to sit at home the rest of the year, and still make millions. You have to respect that. He doesn't even have to play, and he's making more than most players that kill themselves every week do. In fact, I'm starting to even respect T.O. a little....oh, wait, that's just gas from eating Mexican food today. Sorry.

Steve: I have to go with the Eagles for the fact that they get to take a guy and sit him out because of attitude. The beauty is Owens will, more than likely, sit back, blow his money, then end up playing for some crappy team making crappy money because he let his ego in the way. He will die broke, and will possibly be driven to substance abuse, robbing convenience stores to fund his latest fix. Enjoy your vacation, Terrell!

Unbridled Hate vs. Unquenchable Greed

Ryan: I'm going with unbridled hate. Besides, who is actually making these bridles for hate anyway? Yoda? What do they look like? I just think that anyone with enough hate in their heart can let it out and destroy anyone and anything. If you have hate in your heart, let it out!! You know, this is kind of like the terrorists vs. the oil companies now that I think about it. Did I just side with terrorists?

Steve: Unquenchable greed wins this, easily! With this type of affliction, you will be able to buy happiness as close as your nearest ghetto street corner. With greed, you are far too busy trying to acquire rather than focusing on hate. Hate gives you such blind rage that you get sloppy. With my good friend greed, you can systematically destroy things and people around you in a much more meticulous, rewarding manner. Once I hated a guy so much, I beat the crap out of him. Another guy I felt similarly about, received the honor of me stealing his girlfriend, who was using his car and credit card for a date. Hate is uncontrollable power, greed is vindictave, and causes greater long-term damage. Can I borrow a dollar?

Piston's Win, Husker Fans Lose

Maurice Evans (pictured) and the Detroit Pistons are 4-0 thus far! They beat Sacramento last night IN Sacramento for the first time since 1996.

An interesting note: during the team introductions before the game, when Detroit was introduced last night, thery played a video montage showing abandoned buildings, burned-out cars, etc. Coach Flip was none too happy, and rightfully so. I mean, the city of Detroit certainly does have a stigma attached to it, but to perpetuate that during a sporting event is not classy at all. Detroit received an apology.

I guess if you are going to lose by 14 to the best team in the league, you have to make your shots in ways that don't include a ball and a hoop.

Things are a regular laugh-riot in Huskerland. People are going absolutely ape$#!+ over the loss to Kansas. I understand as well as anyone the frustration in losing to...Kansas. It's hard to type, and it's even harder to say outloud. However, it happened.

This week people (fans/media) are really putting some pressure on the defense. I saw these stats on a message board...

In 2004 conference play, NU defense allowed:30 PPG and 421 total yards per game.Team finished 3-5 in conference play.

Through 6 conference games in 2005, allowing:30 PPG and 388 total yards per game.Team currently sits at 2-4 in conference play.

Very interesting. I feel the defense (and it's pretty obvious) has slacked the last couple games, but I'm having a hard time blaming them. Let's look at the mentality for a minute...forget X's and O's and talent-factor, these guys played quite well early in the year. How much can we expect the defense to continue to carry a ball club whose offense is more dismal this year than last? If I am a blackshirt, I have to start asking "What's the point? We aren't going to score, anyway."

Offensively, Zac Taylor has proven to be a better QB. Let's look at QB stats through 9 games last year, and this year:

2004: 119/255, 46.7% completion, 1677 yards, 15 TD's and 18 picks.
2005: 176/327, 53.8% completion, 1892 yards, 13 TD's, and 10 picks.

Overall, a better performance. The problem is the rushing game. It's not that we aren't attempting to rush, the thing I find frustrating is we aren't solving the rushing attack.

Again, through 9 games:

2004: 349 carries, 1671 (net) yards, 4.79 per carry, and 17 TD's.
2005: 308 carries, 825 (net) yards, 2.75 per carry, and only 7 TD's.

Wow. Our line has to be able to provide opportunities for Zac to get the ball off without feeling like he's being stalked by Steve Pederson groupies, and they have to make some holes for Ross to run through. Note the difference between saying our players suck, and making an observation.

People are starting to say that Callahan needs to start worrying about his job. I say forget that. All along I've said that this is not the season we are going to start shining in. Next year, I expect significant improvements, but you don't install a new offensive scheme overnight. Even the kool-aid girls go into full meltdown mode after virtually every game, whining about the poor playing. These are the same people who complain about the PLAYERS consistently, yet "support the program".

Whatever. Pretenders. You don't support a program unless you support the people involved with it. Specifically, that's coaches on down. Not Athletic Directors or even Chancellors. The program consists of people putting in blood, sweat, and tears on a daily basis. Not some suit who, when Nebraska wins, never hesitates to be visible, but after losses is hard to find. This is a perplexing trend. If I was Callahan, I'd worry about that.

Regardless, the Huskers will continue to play poorly this season, and could very well lose to KSU and to :::shudder::: Colorado. I hope they do not, but we don't have evidence that says "blowout victory".

This team needs us to root for them, and critique it in a way that isn't demoralizing and acting as if the world is ending. Let's hope for a re-energized defense, and some blocking up front. We see that, and our chances are much better than they were last Saturday.

Count/Pointercount

Ryan sent some gems over recently, and we have more on the way!

Suicide bombers vs. Carpet bombers

Ryan: Nothing says loving like a good old fashioned carpet bombing. The firestorm of Dresden is a great example of how thousands and thousands of bombs can incinerate all people, places, and things in an entire city!! In fact, we probably wouldn't have won WWII if we didn't carpet bomb. That's how the USA should solve all relations with all nations that disagree...immediately carpet bomb their 10 largest cities!! I can't imagine it would be much worse than our current foreign policy...

Steve: Carpet bombing is NOTHING compared to the gruesome-ness of a suicide (homicide) bomber. Carpet bombing certainly has its place, without question. However, the bombers aren't really getting their hands dirty. A suicide (homicide) bomber gets his hands dirty, but digging in the trenches, as it were. He gets to take clear advantage of the fruits of his labors by having his entire body fly apart in a bloody, bone-splitting manner. Nothing says committment like eating soup at a sidewalk cafe and having a suicide (homicide) bombers eye fall onto your spoon after he decided to let go.

Christian Bale and George Clooney as Batman vs. Michael Keaton and Val Kilmer as Batman (tag team match)

Ryan: Will Adam West be the special guest referee? I say Bale and Clooney just because Bale was awesome as Batman and Clooney could've been good if the movie wasn't directed by a child with a moderate level of rational thought. I know I'm picking against Lindsey Lohan's Dad in "Herbie: Fully Loaded", but come on...what happened Mr. Keaton?

Steve: I go with Keaton and Kilmer because Keaton is...well, he's Keaton, and Kilmer was Doc Holliday in one of the best movies of all time. People fail to understand that Keaton was blacklisted from a lot of different projects when he declined to reprise his role as Batman after Batman Returns. The guy is a phenomenal actor, and Kilmer's Tombstone performance alone outshines anything that George "I'm a smug piece of crap who is very much in love with my head-tilt" Clooney. Bale is awesome, but teamed with Clooney, he gets over-shadowed by a guy who probably has his own picture in his wallet.

George Bush selection of new Supreme Court Justice vs. PowerBall selection of new Supreme Court Justice

Ryan: Powerball baby!! At least then we wouldn't have the most jaded and ridiculous selection process on Earth. Consider, we actually pick people to sit on the Supreme Court, the branch of government that interprets the Constitution, by trying to find people who appear moderate but actually have pre-conceived opinions to cases that haven't even happened yet!! You know what? The best thing that could happen to the Supreme Court is to have a career truck driver named Virgil Clive be a justice on the Supreme Court. I can't wait to read his opinions!!

Steve: I go with George selecting his picks for the sole reason that I tend to feel better when I make my choices in life after watching Bush make ANY choice. When he picked that old lady, I felt so much better about my choosing to have all the rain forests mowed down, or choosing the Huskers to win over, oh I don't know, KANSAS.

Angelina Jolie is a great humanitarian vs. Angelina Jolie is a dirty, homewrecking (word that rhymes with "boar")

Ryan: I'm going to leave you with what you want here, so I'm going to begrudgingly say that at least she did adopt an Ethiopian boy. And then handed him over to her staff of nannies and sets up his allowance through her agent.

Steve: I go with the homewrecker. Nothing cries "AWWW YEAH" like Angelina when she sets her sights on some fresh married beefsteak. Going with this opens us up to the possibility of tabloid pictures in compromising situations, as well. I'm waiting for her to have some home movies stolen.

Bill Callahan throat slash "gesture" vs. Bill Callahan actually cutting a ref's throat



Ryan: I think the most effective thing to improve ref's calls would be the actual death of a referee at the hands of a coach. I think a throat-slashing would be a great way to go. The call happens, the ref backs up to the line, and then Callahan pulls out a shiv, cuts the throat, and then palms it to his defensive coordinator and tries to deny the slashing even though it's all over the jumbotron. Sorry, ref...that's not a reviewable call. No flag, FIRST DOWN!!!

Steve: I concede on this one. Sharpen up.

Pic farked up (quite nicely) by TwilightendZone

Pistons Destroy Sixers

Detroit opened up the regular season lastnight by slapping the living crud out of the Philadelphia 76'ers. It was a thing of beauty, to be sure. Crybaby Iverson, while scoring well, apparently showed some negative emotion towards his teammates on the court. Does this surprise anyone? The guy is one traffic stop from being a felon.
For the Pistons, Richard Hamilton had a great night with 37 points, and Chauncey Billups pitched in with 12 points and 10 assists.

An excellent game recap can be found by clicking here.

Friday, Detroit squares off against the Celtics.

In "No One But The Media Cares...and Maybe Jack Nicholson" news, Kobe Bryant led the Lakers to a victory lastnight, giving Phil "I need the job" Jackson a win on his opening game back with Los Angeles. I am very excited to read all of the drama that's sure to come up this year between Kobe and Phil. I'm hoping that I can read that Kobe and Phil, after a month of ego problems, decided that they were secretly in love, and decided to leave the NBA altogether so they could skinny dip in the Arctic.