Bad Pizza

Hello. It's time for a sad story. A very sad story. A very, very sad...ok, sorry.

If you also live in the Des Moines area, (judging from the readership on this blog, you live in Cuba, Jordan, Chile, and Spain) you may agree with me that there aren't a lot of good pizza places in this town. Don't get me wrong, there are a couple bright spots, but central Iowa bites in this regard.

I understand that this is completely subjective, and one man's Paradise Cafe is another man's Pizza Hut. It is also important to note that I have not tried every single pizza place in the phone book.

So let's get started...using the CitySearch pages.

Before I get started, there is a restaurant in the Des Moines yellow pages called "A Dong Restaurant". Pardon me while I snicker like an 8th grader. Part of me wants to call them to see what's on the menu. The other part of me doesn't want to know. And neither do you.

1.) Adriatic Pizza. Never even heard of it. Not in the paper or TV. No review available on CitySearch, but the CitySearch pages lists 3.5 stars. Anything below 4 stars is not going to cut it, folks. My crack research team found these reviews. Funny how the first guy said it was "too bad they closed", and the guy who writes a review the next month comes off like someone in dire need of refilling the bong water.

2.) American Pizza Pie Company. It's in Grimes, and I've never been there. Grimes is a decent drive for me...maybe 20 minutes. That's crazy talk. The same site featuring Cheech and Chong reviewing the Adriatic did not have reviews listed for this place.

3.) Angelo's Pizza. Another place that has a couple locations, but I have not heard of it. No reviews I could dig up. CitySearch also gives it 3.5 stars. Of course, there's always a contrarion out there trying to ruin everyone's ratings. :)

4.) Baratta's Trattoria & Pizzarea. 4.5 stars with some reviews! Let's see...

One disgruntled individual writes: "Great service, lousy food. Really very disappointing. Italian specialties were mediocre, bland and poorly prepared, particularly the homemade raviloi that was too large, doughy, and tasteless. We drive thru Des Moines regularly and always stop for dinner; not at Bratta's again, though."

Wow! That's cold! A gruntled man writes "My wife and our families first went to Baratta's for our wedding reception and every year we make it our place to go for our anniversary.Our two young children even love the food there. I've been to every Italian restaurant in town and no one compares to Baratta's.The wait staff are quick,personable and attentive.The chef's cook the best steak DeBurgo in town and I have lots of other favorites there such as their delicious seafood Genovese,calamari linguini, and their succulent pizza.If you're looking for great,normally expensive food for inexpensive price and people who honestly care that their customers are both satisfied and that they'll return then Baratta's is just what you're looking for!"

He said "succulent". Sounds like I will be making a visit.

Update: I did the aforementioned piece about 2 months ago, and got bored with it. I may continue it if I become bed-ridden or unemployed.