Thursday, February 21, 2008

Eminem Exclusive

The "rapper" known as Eminem is coming out with his memoirs this fall, to the delight of angst-filled suburban white kids everywhere. In a recent news article, it says that it will "feature journal notes, hand-drawn art, and lyric sketches as well as a narrative and introduction written by the 'Lose Yourself' hitmaker himself."

Here at SBG, I obtained exclusive excerpts. A photo of a couple drawings (seen above), as well as a lyric sketch. No exclusive is complete, however, without some of the actual writing.

About life in the city:

"'Tis the concrete jungle where I stalketh my prey. Living such as this is folly for many a man, but for this man, I see truth. That truth is divine, and thou shalt honor it, and not engage in dissing. What is the truth, you may asketh yourself. The truth is that it is now that I will tap your mother from the back."

On his strained relationship with his mother:

"Wondrous years past, she and I would walk hand in hand through the park. She would smile down at me, yet I always knew that she was a little distant, perhaps slightly sad. Our situation was difficult to say the least. We were middle class, and it can be very tough being middle class when you live in Missouri as a young boy. Most folks from Missouri are lucky to be bottom-of-the-barrell class, so we were looked at with some disdain by those around us who couldn't buy pop-tarts. That, and my dad left us when I was a baby.

Perhaps that, along with the fact that even as a 6 year old, I felt it was my duty to inform her that she is a dirty, stupid bitch."

On fame:

"I am from the streets, my dear readers, and I will always be from the street. In fact, my mansion is approximately 200 yards from a street. I take the street when my driver has to transport me to the manicure shop. Also, a couple years ago, I threw out some trash onto the street from my Lamborghini. The streets are a dirty place, and I keep it real."

Shown here are lyric sketches that exhibit the true genius that is Eminem.
When these memoirs are released, I suggest you pick them up as soon as humanly possible. The riveting life story of one idiot's path to success has got to be better than some other garbage you've been reading.
Lastly, thanks to Eminem for providing us with someone to thank for their amazing contributions towards profanity and ignorance. And for looking like such a wuss.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Flight of the Conchords

Pictured to the left (in an image that I blatantly stole from the internet) are Bret and Jemaine, who are a 2 man band out of New Zealand. This show is on HBO, and is getting ready to get a second season out.


So, now that you have it, watch all 12 episodes in a row. It's 6 hours total...half hour episodes. I'll be right here...let me know when you are done.

While I am waiting, I cannot stress enough how amazingly hilarious this show is. It's almost hard to describe, and do it justice. The subtle humor, the songs, and the show's two "heroes" are simply top notch. That's why you just have to go out and get it.

My wife and I watched the entire season over the weekend, and these two have apparently been at it for years. No one informed me, which is in itself ludicrous. I should have been informed much sooner.

YouTube has a lot of good clips of these guys, like the one below...enjoy!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

LOI Day! And Stuff...

It's letter of intent day for college football. And when I talk about college football, only one team matters. Nebraska! You can follow along with all the fun here.

I think going overboard with the recruiting hype is a part of the problem, but it is exciting to see what kind of players we will be getting. The only thing that makes me wince is when grown men refer to these athletes coming out of high school as "studs". Let's keep the mancrushes to a minimum.

Bo Pelini and staff look to be headed towards a solid class after a shaky December. In other news, the reserved tickets for the Spring game are already sold out. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! Looks like it's general admission for me. Regardless, it'll be fun, I'm sure.

The Writer's strike should be over here very soon. Thank God. I cannot tell you how depressing
TV is with it's "reality" programming. I will hand it to American Idol, though. The auditions have been pretty hilarious. Just please bring back Earl, The Office, Heroes, and Chuck.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Giants Win Over the New England Patriots!

Like 732 million other people, I tuned in to watch the New York Giants win the Super Bowl over the New England Patriots. To be more specific, I tuned in for the last 9 minutes of the 4th quarter. I will say that the most boring form of football ever (NFL) actually got me energized when the Giants came back and scored on the Pats. Congrats to the Giants.