Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Michael Vick - The Response

Hi. Glad you could join us here at Steve's Bar & Grille. In the wake of the Michael Vick dog-fighting scandal, it's time to weigh in on some of the outcry...and support Mr. Vick has received. Vick has entered a plea of guilty, and did a wonderful job listening to his people by apologizing half-heartedly.

With us on the panel is Animal Rights activist Chris Ashton. She heads up the Tough Love for Dog Fighters sub-committee.

On the other side of the aisle is Roberto Guardiola, a proponent of dog fighting, running over penned up chickens, and the active chainsawing of seeing-eye dogs.

Roberto, we'll start with you.

RG: Please, call me Rob.

SBG: Sure. Rob, as a big fan of Michael Vick's "Bad Newz Kennels", how do you justify the slaughtering of not only dogs, but the inclusion of Urban slang used in the title. If "Newz" has a "z" at the end, shouldn't "Kennels"?

RG: Look, if you aren't down with the street now, you never will be. As for the dogs, that's all they are. Dogs. They are plentiful in supply. It's not like they are endangered or anything. Besides, when breeded for killing, what do you want Vick to do, send it to the animal shelter when we are done watching it get mauled half to death?

SBG: Chris, in your experience, can both the humans who find this sort of thing enjoyable and the dogs that participate be rehabilitated?

CA: As a tough love advocate for these criminals, I have yet to find one that can be truly rehabilitated. My experience to this point has been to dish out the tough, because the love has yet to be earned. When this disgusting pig Robert mentions that dogs are plentiful in supply, and they aren't endangered, well so are humans. It's life imprisonment or the death penalty when convicted of murder. The penalty for cruelty to animals should be equal.

RG: What, because you think killing an animal is the same as killing a human? You and your treehugging liberal wackjob friends may feel that way but be real here. When killing a human, it's because they did something to deserve it. When you kill an animal, it's because it's usually funny to hear the sound of them shrieking, and then choking on their own blood.

SBG: Rob, please be serious, you can't honestly mean that. Domesticated animals, whether you are an activist or not, rely on humans for care, and morally should not be subjected to any sort of abuse. Chris, according to reports, Vick and his fellow dog fighters killed a minimum of 8 dogs. Could animals bred to kill be turned back into a household pet?

CA: Absolutely. In fact, I own three pit bulls now who were all once professional dog fighters. You need to provide a loving, caring environment for them to nurture in. These animals were only trained to kill by methods that most certainly do not include love and attention.

SBG: We are almost out of time. Let's move to closing statements. Rob.

RG: Look, the media and the public are really making a big deal over nothing. I don't see anyone protecting mice. You can buy devices to kill them in stores, for crying out loud. I have to endure a waiting period and a background check to get my dog-killing device. Vick should be thanked for providing hours of hilarious entertainment to literally 10's of people.

CA: The longer we allow society to go soft on animal murderers, the harder it will be to regain our souls. People who get enjoyment out of this should endure the same punishment they dish out.

SBG: Chris, Rob, I want to thank you for sharing your views. In the next panel we will discuss the influence Charles Manson had on Michael Vick. Goodnight.

Friday, August 24, 2007

In The News...

Ugandan government accused of "state homophobia"

NAIROBI (Reuters ) - An international human rights group has accused President Yoweri Museveni's government of promoting "state homophobia" in Uganda and urged the repeal of a colonial-era law against sodomy.

The article failed to mention the name of the human rights group: Gay Men Who Are Really Horny. Come on, Kamala!!!

Vick suspended indefinitely without pay

Vick acknowledged bankrolling gambling on the dogfights, but denied placing bets himself or taking any of the winnings.

You see!? I knew he is still a great guy! That makes it all okay.

He admitted that dogs not worthy of the pit were killed "as a result of the collective efforts" of himself and two co-defendants.

Oh. Nevermind.

Thieves hit Kirsten Dunst's NYC suite

Thieves slipped into the actress' rooms at the SoHo Grand Hotel on Aug. 9, court records show. Dunst, who was in town to shoot scenes for a forthcoming film called "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People," had left early that morning, according to the records.

Darting into the suite through an open door, the thieves grabbed designer bags, $2,500 in cash, credit and ID cards, two digital cameras, a cell phone and an iPod music player, court records show. A surveillance camera captured the burglars leaving the hotel with the items.

I wonder if they also nabbed her book on how to tilt your head irritatingly 42,648 times per movie.

In World News...

Well lookee there! I am telling you, when I want my feel-good stories, I will continue to click on the "World" tab on the Yahoo front page. If the world has 6 billion people, we are down 33. I wish the American press would run two stats for us on a daily basis...the death toll in Iraq, and the death toll in America every day. Have a nice weekend!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Almost Football Time!

Sam Keller has been named QB for the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Does this shock anyone? He has one year, and I think he will show off his talent quite well. We have a more than able backup in Joe Ganz, so this season is looking good from a QB perspective. I'm a little concerned about the blackshirts...GO DEFENSE!

Onto other exciting news...Michael Vick. I say we lock this guy up for a maximum sentence, and let his fellow inmates find interesting uses for mop/broom handles. I saw some jackhole being interviewed on TV this morning, stating how the public is fed up with celebrities who think they can get away with anything. This is something that will continue to happen as long as people who are screwed up in the head receive large sums of money. People tend to believe their own hype, and we get to watch them kill dogs, snort coke, and ram their SUV's into whatever is in their way. The problem is with the legal system that treats them special. Let 'em fry!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

It's Casey Stoner's World, We Just Live In It

Well, Australian MotoGP rider Casey Stoner takes his 7th win this season at the Czech Grand Prix today. I think his Ducati has jet fuel or something. The guy is simply dominating the field this year. He is sitting at 246 points over Valentino Rossi's 186. With 6 races left, there is still an opportunity for Rossi to come through, but if the first 12 races are any indication, this is the year of the Stoner. Heh...I slay me.

In second place was John Hopkins. This was his highest finish in the MotoGP ranks, and he ran an excellent race. Rounding out the podium was reigning World Champ Nicky Hayden, who has made 3 podium appearances in his last 4 races. Hayden started off a tad rough after being in the second position. Hayden's teammate Dani Pedrosa finished fourth, with Chris Vermeulen rounding out the top 5.

Let's not kid ourselves, Stoner won it big...7+ seconds between he and Hopkins.

Next up is San Marino. Go Nicky Hayden!!

Monday, August 13, 2007

RIP Mike Wieringo

Death came to an excellent artist, I am sad to say. Mike was 44.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Congrats, Barry!

Well, the record is broken. Barry's rookie card is a nice piece of history, also...

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Congrats to Barry Bonds

I get a lump in my throat every time a 'roid user does something amazing in sports. I mean, the hard work going into putting illegal performance enhancing drugs into one's system should at least net you some accolades.

Barry Bonds is, as of this writing/typing, tied with non-steroid freak Hank Aaron. Way to go, Barry! I, and countless others, look up to your amazing dedication, and marvel at your metamorphisis...

When children all across the land look to ways to succeed in athletics, they will be able to follow your shining example of how to be a steroid junkie, and shatter records that mere mortals once labored intensively at creating.

I love sports today, with its thug culture and ability to make one realize that their own lives aren't as bad as athletes who have to wake up every morning and realize they cheated their way to greatness.

The fun!

Barry Bonds is going to fight another steroid user...the purse is...

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

August Update

Heh. Glad to see you crawled over. I promise I will try and update more for the 1.7 people who are still left reading this.

Moto GP

Casey Stoner takes Laguna. I feel badly for Nicky Hayden, reigning world champ, who is 9th in the point standings. It's been a tough year. They get a break until mid-August.

Nebraska Cornhuskers

Blah blah blah fans hate each crap couldn't be more of a sleeper...blah blah blah. I am looking forward to watching Sam Kellar. I hope he is as tough as Zac Taylor.

Other Crap

The Bourne Ultimatum is out this weekend. These movies are excellent, without question (you hear me Buddy Cole). Sorry Buddy, my blatant attempt to challenge you was a little transparent.

I am happy to say that I have no travel plans until September (Vegas, baby)!! I was recently in Colorado, and northern Michigan. The latter was vacation, and Lake Michigan was real nice, and that part of the country is gorgeous.

Maybe I will type more in September! :)