Friday, January 25, 2008

EXCELLENT Brew, Britney Spears' Accent

Beer is excellent. No, really. I love beer. And short sentences.

First, the disclaimer: I am not a big drinker. A six-pack can last me a month. I do, however, enjoy trying out different beers, and I tried Bass Pale Ale recently and it is phenomenal.

I know, you are probably saying "Hey dipshit, that beer has been around since the Pyramids were built." I know, I know. Cut me some slack, at a six-pack per month, I don't roll through too many brands.

Anyway, my wife and I were at Old Chicago pizza, and I saw it on the menu, along with approximately 941 other beers, and just randomly picked it. Draft. I would most certainly suggest this beer to anyone...the everyday Joe all the way to the lonely, on the brink of suicide alcoholic.

Try it!

What the hell is the deal. I am not talking about the crazed umbrella incident, as that happened a while back. Has anyone seen her lately? She is speaking with a BRITISH ACCENT. I swear some people really need to get back inside the trailer, and not come out until they come to terms with their white-trashness.

Let's see here...

1.) Don't care about kids. Check
2.) Speaking in a fake accent. Check
3.) Completely batshit crazy. Check

I guess Britney Spears has a pretty full life. Good for her! I wonder what kind of beer she drinks?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Dear Coach...

Hang on a second...I will be right with you...

Ok, sorry about that. Hi! It's really cold here in Iowa lately. It's roughly 300 degrees below zero. I have a friend in the Miami area who I would like to punch squarely in the teeth for rubbing in his 75 degree weather.

Let's talk sunglasses and stocking caps for a minute. Take a look at this...

As I ad-lib here on the internet, I have a hard time responding to this at all. If you are a coach, and some rando is e-mailing you wanting you to stay at your job, do you really put any credence to that?

Dear Coach Watson,

Hi there! I am an anonymous message board poster, but don't kid yourself. I know what's best for you and your family. You are needed at Nebraska!! Please oh Holy Lord stay and help us out next year. Pwetty Pwease!?



Look, psychos, please stop. Check out this recent article...

"I get a lot of messages from fans," NU recruit Will Compton said, "and I just try not to pay attention to them all, because everyone is so biased and just wants me to play for their school. Everyone just tells you what they think you want to hear, but nobody really knows your situation."

About every fourth message on Compton's Facebook wall is from a fan of a school recruiting him, and some of them aren't very nice. One message on Compton's MySpace page showed a doctored picture of him and former NU commitment Blaine Gabbert hanging out at a bar with former NU coach Bill Callahan. Gabbert and Compton are friends in real life.
Beneath the picture was the word "TOOL" in all caps, and the caption underneath read, "When you have no imagination or style, just follow your friends."

Classy! Anyways, Compton's got the right approach. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go start an internet group on "Persuading Internet Idiots To Take Cyanide".

Monday, January 21, 2008

MotoGP in 2008, Continued Blog Neglect

Well, I've had it. I am crossing the picket lines and am resuming more regular blog updates. I have, and still support the WGA, but I have thousands of readers (thousands meaning approximately 3 or 4) that deserve better.

With that, I'd like to bore everyone to tears.

Indianapolis, here I come!! MotoGP rolls into Indy for the first time this year, and I will be there, beer in hand. Here is the 2008 schedule/rider list.

2/17/2008: Jerez - MotoGP Official Test
3/9/2008: Losail Circuit (Qatar)
3/30/2008: Jerez
4/13/2008: Estoril
5/4/2008: Shanghai Circuit
5/18/2008: Le Mans
6/1/2008: Mugello
6/8/2008: Cicuit de Catalunya
6/22/2008: Donington Park
6/28/2008: Assen
7/13/2008: Sachsenring
7/20/2008: Laguna Seca
8/17/2008: Automotodrom Brno (Czech)
8/31/2008: Misano
9/14/2008: Indianapolis
9/28/2008: Motegi
10/5/2008: Phillip Island
10/19/2008: Sepang Circuit
10/26/2008: Comunitat Valenciana

Casey Stoner - 1 - Australia
Alex De Angelis - 3 - RSM
Andrea Dovizioso - 4 - Italy
Colin Edwards - 5 - USA
Chris Vermeulen - 7 - Australia
Anthony West - 13 - Australia
Randy De Puniet - 14 - France
John Hopkins - 21 - USA
Tony Elias - 24 - Spain
Dani Pedrosa - 26 - Spain
Marco Melandri - 33 - Italy
Valentino Rossi - 46 - Italy
Jorge Lorenzo - 48 - Spain
Sylvain Guintoli - 50 - France
James Toseland - 52 - Great Britain
Shinya Nakano - 56 - Japan
Loris Capirossi - 65 - Italy
Nicky Hayden - 69 - USA