Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Hodge-podge mish-mosh riff-raff

Garden of the Gods. What a great part of the country. My trip to Colorado Springs/Denver was a ton of fun. So much, that I'll be going back soon!

I took a lot of good pictures and was very "tourist-y". I was also glad to know that the Denver are has three Fuddrucker's. That's always good news.

The Inverness in Denver was very nice, and had a great view of the mountains.

In what has turned out to be an extremely overblown situation, Josh Freeman has *gasp* decided to go to Kansas State instead of Nebraska, after being a "strong" commit. The only ones in a real uproar about this are the nerds. The ones who play NCAA college football games on PS2/xbox, and have to "recruit" in the off-season. This, naturally, makes them experts. This happens all over the country every year. But I know it boosts ones self-esteem to trash the kid for making a decision he felt was best. REGARDLESS of how he did it. He's a freakin' kid. What the hell do you expect, maturity and life-experience? Hardly.

The Pistons are on a 5 game win streak and are sitting at 20-3. WHOO!

Saturday, December 03, 2005


Grown Men with Harry Potter Fever vs. Grown Men with Star Wars Fever

Steve: Grown men with Star Wars fever. Why? See that pic of Princess Leia? Normally I'd say 'nuff said. Not today, my friend. Harry Potter has made a bajillion dollars at the box office. Star Wars has, also. Grown men have a reason to be a little nerdish about Star Wars. Why? Well, for most of us, we saw it AS KIDS. Harry Potter stars children. I just can't watch it with any interest. Are there any kicka$$ Mandalorian bounty hunters in Harry Potter? Nope. Sure, a cool spider or some weird dog, but no force choke. No lightsaber. Imagine how much damage Potter could do with a light saber? Heads would literally roll. I could sign up for that. Harry Potter is missing high fatality counts, also. How many clones, officers, etc. were destroyed in either Death Star? Sure the second one may not have had as many bad guys as it had contractors hurrying to get the job done, but you know a crapload of people lost it. Harry Potter is missing that special "bite" that one gets from looking at Carrie Fisher before the drugs took hold.

Ryan: OK, I admit, Harry Potter does not have Mandalorian bounty hunters, nor does it have force chokes, lightsabers, the Force, stormtroopers, or Carrie Fisher in a metal bikini. What does it have? It has a basis in reality at least that people actually believe in wizards and witches, and have a real place in human culture. Remember the Salem Stormtrooper trials? Oh, or how about the Roman Galactic Empire? Let’s put it this way, if I have to choose between my dorky friend or family member dressing up as either a witch or a stormtrooper, I’m probably going to go with hanging myself.

Make another Star Trek series vs. For God's Sake let Star Trek Die

Steve: The theme song to Enterprise. Does anything else need to be said? How can we watch an aging Data? Isn't he an android? "Captain Picard, I apologize for my appearance. It seems my positronic relays have fused into the experimental aging chip that Geordi installed. I'm getting wrinkles and am swelling. Where's Spot?" Scotty's dead. So is Dr. McCoy. Sulu's gay, for God's sake. Shatner is more round than captain-ly. Throw Marina Sirtis in topless, and I pluck down the cash, otherwise, let's let it stand as is.

Ryan: Dude, make another one!!! Give us a ship named Enterprise and fly around space solving problems and stuff. Throw in an alien or two an we’re happy. Know why the last three shows sucked? The first was a space station that stayed in the same spot. Not good. Then, we had a ship sent to the nether regions of the galaxy. Not a bad premise, but apparently all the cool aliens live in the Alpha quadrant. And then, the show-that-must-not-be-named-starring-Scott-Bakula. That show was so bad it was nearly unspeakable. Listen, maybe it’s time to return to the old format…you know, Enterprise in danger and they solve the problem. We seemed to like that. Give us what we want. Lastly, have you seen Marina Sirtis lately? No offense, but I won’t be attending her Betazed wedding.

Improving Des Moines vs. Des Moines sucks no matter what you do

Steve: Des Moines sucks. Seriously. You can't get decent variety of pizza in this town. Be-Bop's is the best burger in town? Please go to Omaha and eat at Bronco's, or preferrably a strong chain like Fuddrucker's or Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger In Paradise, which is the best thing Buffet has ever done. Try to sit through this guy's music for more than an hour. To do so would mean you have to sniff Everest-sized drifts of the Columbian's finest white lady. Des Moines has some bright spots, without a doubt, but it's always going to be Omaha's little, stinkier brother. We could improve Des Moines by having newsbabes Stacey Horst, Elizabeth Klinge, and Lynn Melling oil wrestle on TV. See, I have solutions!

Ryan: We have a problem in Des Moines…and ironically, it’s that the name of our city is Des Moines. How are we supposed to get a sports team when most people can’t even pronounce the name of the city? We even had to name our Arena Football team the “Iowa” Barnstormers because no one thought the Dez Moy-nez Barnstormers sounded about as tough as it sounds. But hey, we have blue pedestrian bridges now!!

Here’s the solution…change the name to River City. The River City Rampage, the River City Rebels….”Hey man, I live in River City!!” “Wow, that’s pretty cool!” You know, we’re a city, we have a river running through the city…it just works. You can still have newscasters from Omaha oil wrestle…I’m flexible.

No water in Chinese town vs. No water in American town

Steve: I'd prefer to be without water in an American town, because I can whine to the U.S. government until enough people just start giving me hand-outs whilst I do nothing to improve my own situation. In China, if one is to whine about a lack of water, a tank comes out of nowhere to run your whiny- a$$ over. Period. I prefer to be run over by something other than a Commie gettin' his tank on. That's real.

Ryan: You know what’s real? The Chinese have a billion people. Running water is a must. And I think the tank driver’s restraint at not running over the Chinese student at Tienamen Square shows the Chinese government’s restraint. What are you, some kind of Chinese-hater?

The upper 1% vs. The rest of us

Steve: I have to go with the rest of us, because I have no frame of reference. Sure I can imagine what life would be like in the upper 1%. Salma Hayek cleaning my bathroom mirror naked, a Fuddrucker's built into my home, the ability to sell a jar of my own urine on eBay and get thousands for it...the list goes on. As it stands, I have to believe that if we band together, we could take 'em. I bought some bags of urine that we could throw at them!!

Ryan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I almost snorted my champagne out of my nose!!! All of you peons need to realize, we own you so thoroughly that you don’t even know that money really does grow on trees. Trees that only we know the location of. Speaking for all rich people, we aren’t satisfied until we have taken every last buffalo nickel from each and every poor person. Would you like to participate in a regressive tax on poor people that we like to call the “powerball”? No? We’ll see when the jackpot is over 200 million. Oh, and by the way, you show your ignorance of the rich lifestyle talking about Selma like that. Like she would just clean ANY surface while naked. She only waxes naked, and then it’s only on Onyx on perhaps Greek marble. Also, what is Fuddrucker’s? Is that some establishment where the poors gather to talk? Lastly, you will never gain any wealth trying to sell your urine that cheaply. My urine books at $10,000 per ounce minimum. Poor people make me laugh.

Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles vs. Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash

Steve: Go Johnny Cash! Mr. Cash's story, quite honestly, is more interesting. Forget that Ray Charles is blind, I give out no handicap points in this analysis. Cash was a bada$$. A rebel. Ray Charles' story is just kinda sad, really. I mean the guy couldn't even SEE the drugs he was taking in. Musically, Cash was more original, whereas Ray, who was great, just doesn't stand out in American culture the way Johnny Cash does. When Ray can posthumously cover a Nine Inch Nails song, color me impressed, until then, put on the man in black.

Ryan: Hi, I’m Earth. Have we met? Ray Charles is BLIND. You can’t just gloss over that. Cash was a rebel…you know why?

He took gospel sounds and turned them into country rock. You know who did that first? A guy named Ray Charles. Oh, and he fought against segregation in the south by refusing to perform before segregated audiences. You can’t be serious that Cash stands out more in our culture…Ray Charles got

more sympathy than Reagan did when they died. And, Ray sang the most compelling version of “America the Beautiful” ever!! Ever heard the term “Hit the Road, Jack?”

Hmmm….where did that come from? Lastly, it was impressive that Cash posthumously covered a song. Ray, posthumously won a Grammy. Five of ‘em.

Neither of us even mentioned the movies by the way. Having watched them both, they both rocked. Best line from Ray? “I make it do what it do.” Best line from Walk the Line? “He looks like he’s going to a funeral. (Cash says: “Maybe I am”.)

Pistons Over Knicks

What an awesome game lastnight between the Pistons and the Knicks. Detroit won at home 106-98.

Pictured left is Tayshaun Prince greeting his former coach before the game. All Piston starters went over to greet Knicks coach Larry Brown in a huge sign of class.

The game was tight in the first half, but things got ugly in the third. The Pistons put on a clinic, outpacing the Knicks 24-8 to go up 83-67. The Knicks brought it back within 5 with just over 3 minutes left in the game.

If anyone hasn't watched the Pistons play this year, they are missing out.

Piston legend, and my all-time favorite NBA player, Isiah Thomas was honored lastnight, unveiling his name and retired number on the court.

Thomas led the Pistons to back-to-back titles in 1989 and 1990.

As President of the Knicks, Thomas watched his team get their tails handed to them, but lastnight's game was more than points. It was a sign of sportsmanship between the two clubs, as well as Knick coach Larry Brown getting the Detroit trip out of the way.

Brown was not looking forward to it, but he handled himself well, and huge kudos to the Piston team for acknowledging Brown as they did. The NBA is starting to look better.

Friday, December 02, 2005


Larry Brown and his Knicks are playing Detroit. Obviously there needs to be some media-hype here, as it's Brown's first trip back to Detroit since leaving the team last year. Coach Flip Saunders and the Pistons are doing just fine, coming into the game at 11 wins and 2 losses, whereas New York is at 5-9.

Detroit is playing very well early on, and, unlike the Lions and Tigers, can lay claim to having a well-run organization in the Pistons. Condolences for the Detroit Lions' scapegoat, Steve Mariucci. Shut that team down and ship 'em out.

Former Nebraska coach Frank Solich pleaded no contest to driving while plastered. An unfortunate scenario for Ohio. The fallout on this should be interesting to see. A huge thumbs down to people who find this hilarious. Shows the typical classlessness expected by some. Some random quotes...

"Fuck Frank Solich."
"sorry, don't mean to laugh,,,,,,, who am I kidding "
"Frank the tank! Frank the tank!"

All class, there (insert raging sarcasm). What Solich did was inexcusable. No question. He has a responsibility, and he provided a horrible example. Hopefully this will not occur again, and he can learn from it, and not jeapordize anyone's safety.

I'm hoping for a Nebraska/Michigan bowl game. Since my wife is from Michigan, I'll take great joy when Zac Taylor picks apart the weak Michigan secondary. GO BIG RED! I'm also hoping that Texas takes down USC in the title game, this year. The mancrush people have on USC is the textbook definition of homo-erotic.

In personal news, I'm looking forward to my trip to Colorado December 11th thru the 14th. I'm flying into Denver around 1 pm on the 11th. Anyone know any good spots? I hear Garden of the Gods is supposed to be cool.

Monday, November 28, 2005


First things first. A couple blogs ago, I said we do not have any evidence of "blowout victory".

We do now.

The Nebraska/Colorado game was artwork on virtually every level. One game does not a successful program make. But I know I have no problem with it! Keep this level of play up, and it's back to dominating consistently. Hats off to the Huskers!

Michael Irvin was busted with another drug charge. REALLY?? Wow, that's like being surprised when Lawrence Phillips gets arrested for...well, anything. They need to breakdown news stories into categories.

1.) Actual News.
2.) Same Old Crap.

Mr. Irvin is relegated to number 2 status. Well done, you stupid addict.

The Saddam Hussein trial starts, then stops again. There are few instances where a trial should be circumvented. For example, when a person is on video, taking their neighbors eyes out with a spoon, or if you are a former dictator who killed countless thousands of your people. This farce is going to last entirely too long.

In Rock and Roll Hall of Fame news, inductees included this year:

1.) Black Sabbath. Hmm. Not sure here. Iron Man is catchy, but that whole drugged out Satanic thing was overrated to begin with.
2.) Miles Davis. For sure, get him in there!
3.) Sex Pistols. I still think this is a joke by the Associated Press. I mean, come on.
4.) Blondie. The man from Mars is through with cars.
5.) Lynyrd Skynyrd. Heck yeah! It's about time, too.


Friday, November 11, 2005


Mortal Kombat series vs. Grand Theft Auto series

Ryan: I'm going with Grand Theft Auto. I realize that Mortal Kombat was the first of the "offensive games", but Grand Theft Auto has taken it to a whole new level. Sleeping with prostitutes, drive by shootings, and gang warfare aren't optional, you HAVE to do them. You can just kill innocent civilians at will, and then kill the cops! In fact, one of the best pastimes for fans of the game is to just indiscriminately kill everyone possible until the cops, FBI, even army are sent out to take you down. I once killed 1,000 people before I was taken out by an army helicopter. Rumor has it there is a mod that makes sex with your girlfriend a mini-game. Grand Theft auto is raising a whole generation of kids, the generation that will plunge our society into an extended darkness. I can't wait until the sequel comes out!!

Steve: You know, GTA has nowhere near the CREATIVE appeal that Mortal Kombat has. If I want GTA-style action, I can go to the closet, break out a couple of firearms, and hit the shopping mall. However, I can't put on my rice hat, and teleport behind you, then nail you with electricity that comes from MY HANDS. Or after pummeling you repeatedly, I'm not confident I could, in real life, grab you by the throat and pull your head off with your spine dangling, dripping gallons of blood. Real life scenarios aren't why one should play video games. Pr0stitutes, or beating the crap out of a four-armed Shokan warrior? Maybe you're right...

Disappointment of Iowa Fans Vs. Disappointment of Nebraska Fans

Ryan: Of course I'm going with Iowa. This was supposed to be the year that we became the dominant team in the Big 10, or at least secured our place with Michigan and Ohio St. as the annual teams to beat. We were the sexy pick for the national championship or at least the Big 10 title. But, after embarrassing losses to Iowa St. and Ohio St, an injury to our best receiver (Ed Hinkel), and losing two games that we led in the fourth quarter to Michigan and Northwestern (the first two times that Iowa has ever lost under Ferentz when leading after 3 quarters), I'd say that this season has been a miserable, over-hyped disappointment. Now we have to go to Wisconsin and win during Barry Alvarez's last home game and beat a pesky Minnesota team just to get a better bowl game than playing the MAC champion in the Motor City Bowl. PUKE. And now, the over-hype machine is starting to roll for basketball, which "should" "compete" for the Big 10 "title". Or, as I like to call it, be the best looking team in the NIT. Someone save me from this hype!

Steve: The disappointment of Nebraska fans is much worse, because it boils down to this: Nebraska has been consistently successful. Iowa has always been a schizo team. No one knows from one year to the next whether they will suck or not. With the Huskers expectations are being lowered from the kool-aid drinkers, while old timers find what is happening now inexcusable. This makes it a tough time to be a Husker fan. The fan base is polarized, while Iowa's fan base is used to complacency. :-)

Squeezing blood from a turnip vs. Nailing Jell-O to a tree

Ryan: Blood from a turnip. You know why? You can actually squeeze blood from a turnip. I've done it. It's called getting Scott Kilgore (our old boss) to give you a warranted compliment without also trying to tear you down. Wait, did that happen? Maybe I'm getting that confused with this dream I had where he disemboweled me in a field of bloody turnips. I get confused sometimes.

Steve: Nailing Jell-O to a tree. Why? I've also done it. It's called trying to reason with Scott Kilgore over...well...anything. "Hi Scott, we had a record night in sales lastnight, and we had zero turnover for the week!" I say. He replies, "Records aren't good enough, in fact nothing is good enough, try calling me back and telling me something impressive, like you just beat the crap out of God and stole his bike. Ingrate."

I guess the only consolation is the "relationship" I had with his wife.

Terrell Owens vs. The Eagles

Ryan: I'm going with Terrell Owens believe it or not. You know why? He is going to sit at home the rest of the year, and still make millions. You have to respect that. He doesn't even have to play, and he's making more than most players that kill themselves every week do. In fact, I'm starting to even respect T.O. a little....oh, wait, that's just gas from eating Mexican food today. Sorry.

Steve: I have to go with the Eagles for the fact that they get to take a guy and sit him out because of attitude. The beauty is Owens will, more than likely, sit back, blow his money, then end up playing for some crappy team making crappy money because he let his ego in the way. He will die broke, and will possibly be driven to substance abuse, robbing convenience stores to fund his latest fix. Enjoy your vacation, Terrell!

d Hate vs. Unquenchable Greed

Ryan: I'm going with unbridled hate. Besides, who is actually making these bridles for hate anyway? Yoda? What do they look like? I just think that anyone with enough hate in their heart can let it out and destroy anyone and anything. If you have hate in your heart, let it out!! You know, this is kind of like the terrorists vs. the oil companies now that I think about it. Did I just side with terrorists?

Steve: Unquenchable greed wins this, easily! With this type of affliction, you will be able to buy happiness as close as your nearest ghetto street corner. With greed, you are far too busy trying to acquire rather than focusing on hate. Hate gives you such blind rage that you get sloppy. With my good friend greed, you can systematically destroy things and people around you in a much more meticulous, rewarding manner. Once I hated a guy so much, I beat the crap out of him. Another guy I felt similarly about, received the honor of me stealing his girlfriend, who was using his car and credit card for a date. Hate is uncontrollable power, greed is vindictave, and causes greater long-term damage. Can I borrow a dollar?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Piston's Win, Husker Fans Lose

Maurice Evans (pictured) and the Detroit Pistons are 4-0 thus far! They beat Sacramento last night IN Sacramento for the first time since 1996.

An interesting note: during the team introductions before the game, when Detroit was introduced last night, thery played a video montage showing abandoned buildings, burned-out cars, etc. Coach Flip was none too happy, and rightfully so. I mean, the city of Detroit certainly does have a stigma attached to it, but to perpetuate that during a sporting event is not classy at all. Detroit received an apology.

I guess if you are going to lose by 14 to the best team in the league, you have to make your shots in ways that don't include a ball and a hoop.

Things are a regular laugh-riot in Huskerland. People are going absolutely ape$#!+ over the loss to Kansas. I understand as well as anyone the frustration in losing to...Kansas. It's hard to type, and it's even harder to say outloud. However, it happened.

This week people (fans/media) are really putting some pressure on the defense. I saw these stats on a message board...

In 2004 conference play, NU defense allowed:30 PPG and 421 total yards per game.Team finished 3-5 in conference play.

Through 6 conference games in 2005, allowing:30 PPG and 388 total yards per game.Team currently sits at 2-4 in conference play.

Very interesting. I feel the defense (and it's pretty obvious) has slacked the last couple games, but I'm having a hard time blaming them. Let's look at the mentality for a minute...forget X's and O's and talent-factor, these guys played quite well early in the year. How much can we expect the defense to continue to carry a ball club whose offense is more dismal this year than last? If I am a blackshirt, I have to start asking "What's the point? We aren't going to score, anyway."

Offensively, Zac Taylor has proven to be a better QB. Let's look at QB stats through 9 games last year, and this year:

2004: 119/255, 46.7% completion, 1677 yards, 15 TD's and 18 picks.
2005: 176/327, 53.8% completion, 1892 yards, 13 TD's, and 10 picks.

Overall, a better performance. The problem is the rushing game. It's not that we aren't attempting to rush, the thing I find frustrating is we aren't solving the rushing attack.

Again, through 9 games:

2004: 349 carries, 1671 (net) yards, 4.79 per carry, and 17 TD's.
2005: 308 carries, 825 (net) yards, 2.75 per carry, and only 7 TD's.

Wow. Our line has to be able to provide opportunities for Zac to get the ball off without feeling like he's being stalked by Steve Pederson groupies, and they have to make some holes for Ross to run through. Note the difference between saying our players suck, and making an observation.

People are starting to say that Callahan needs to start worrying about his job. I say forget that. All along I've said that this is not the season we are going to start shining in. Next year, I expect significant improvements, but you don't install a new offensive scheme overnight. Even the kool-aid girls go into full meltdown mode after virtually every game, whining about the poor playing. These are the same people who complain about the PLAYERS consistently, yet "support the program".

Whatever. Pretenders. You don't support a program unless you support the people involved with it. Specifically, that's coaches on down. Not Athletic Directors or even Chancellors. The program consists of people putting in blood, sweat, and tears on a daily basis. Not some suit who, when Nebraska wins, never hesitates to be visible, but after losses is hard to find. This is a perplexing trend. If I was Callahan, I'd worry about that.

Regardless, the Huskers will continue to play poorly this season, and could very well lose to KSU and to :::shudder::: Colorado. I hope they do not, but we don't have evidence that says "blowout victory".

This team needs us to root for them, and critique it in a way that isn't demoralizing and acting as if the world is ending. Let's hope for a re-energized defense, and some blocking up front. We see that, and our chances are much better than they were last Saturday.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Ryan sent some gems over recently, and we have more on the way!

Suicide bombers vs. Carpet bombers

Ryan: Nothing says loving like a good old fashioned carpet bombing. The firestorm of Dresden is a great example of how thousands and thousands of bombs can incinerate all people, places, and things in an entire city!! In fact, we probably wouldn't have won WWII if we didn't carpet bomb. That's how the USA should solve all relations with all nations that disagree...immediately carpet bomb their 10 largest cities!! I can't imagine it would be much worse than our current foreign policy...

Steve: Carpet bombing is NOTHING compared to the gruesome-ness of a suicide (homicide) bomber. Carpet bombing certainly has its place, without question. However, the bombers aren't really getting their hands dirty. A suicide (homicide) bomber gets his hands dirty, but digging in the trenches, as it were. He gets to take clear advantage of the fruits of his labors by having his entire body fly apart in a bloody, bone-splitting manner. Nothing says committment like eating soup at a sidewalk cafe and having a suicide (homicide) bombers eye fall onto your spoon after he decided to let go.

Christian Bale and George Clooney as Batman vs. Michael Keaton and Val Kilmer as Batman (tag team match)

Ryan: Will Adam West be the special guest referee? I say Bale and Clooney just because Bale was awesome as Batman and Clooney could've been good if the movie wasn't directed by a child with a moderate level of rational thought. I know I'm picking against Lindsey Lohan's Dad in "Herbie: Fully Loaded", but come on...what happened Mr. Keaton?

Steve: I go with Keaton and Kilmer because Keaton is...well, he's Keaton, and Kilmer was Doc Holliday in one of the best movies of all time. People fail to understand that Keaton was blacklisted from a lot of different projects when he declined to reprise his role as Batman after Batman Returns. The guy is a phenomenal actor, and Kilmer's Tombstone performance alone outshines anything that George "I'm a smug piece of crap who is very much in love with my head-tilt" Clooney. Bale is awesome, but teamed with Clooney, he gets over-shadowed by a guy who probably has his own picture in his wallet.

George Bush selection of new Supreme Court Justice vs. PowerBall selection of new Supreme Court Justice

Ryan: Powerball baby!! At least then we wouldn't have the most jaded and ridiculous selection process on Earth. Consider, we actually pick people to sit on the Supreme Court, the branch of government that interprets the Constitution, by trying to find people who appear moderate but actually have pre-conceived opinions to cases that haven't even happened yet!! You know what? The best thing that could happen to the Supreme Court is to have a career truck driver named Virgil Clive be a justice on the Supreme Court. I can't wait to read his opinions!!

Steve: I go with George selecting his picks for the sole reason that I tend to feel better when I make my choices in life after watching Bush make ANY choice. When he picked that old lady, I felt so much better about my choosing to have all the rain forests mowed down, or choosing the Huskers to win over, oh I don't know, KANSAS.

Angelina Jolie is a great humanitarian vs. Angelina Jolie is a dirty, homewrecking (word that rhymes with "boar")

Ryan: I'm going to leave you with what you want here, so I'm going to begrudgingly say that at least she did adopt an Ethiopian boy. And then handed him over to her staff of nannies and sets up his allowance through her agent.

Steve: I go with the homewrecker. Nothing cries "AWWW YEAH" like Angelina when she sets her sights on some fresh married beefsteak. Going with this opens us up to the possibility of tabloid pictures in compromising situations, as well. I'm waiting for her to have some home movies stolen.

Bill Callahan throat slash "gesture" vs. Bill Callahan actually cutting a ref's throat

Ryan: I think the most effective thing to improve ref's calls would be the actual death of a referee at the hands of a coach. I think a throat-slashing would be a great way to go. The call happens, the ref backs up to the line, and then Callahan pulls out a shiv, cuts the throat, and then palms it to his defensive coordinator and tries to deny the slashing even though it's all over the jumbotron. Sorry, ref...that's not a reviewable call. No flag, FIRST DOWN!!!

Steve: I concede on this one. Sharpen up.

Pic farked up (quite nicely) by TwilightendZone

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Pistons Destroy Sixers

Detroit opened up the regular season lastnight by slapping the living crud out of the Philadelphia 76'ers. It was a thing of beauty, to be sure. Crybaby Iverson, while scoring well, apparently showed some negative emotion towards his teammates on the court. Does this surprise anyone? The guy is one traffic stop from being a felon.
For the Pistons, Richard Hamilton had a great night with 37 points, and Chauncey Billups pitched in with 12 points and 10 assists.

An excellent game recap can be found by clicking here.

Friday, Detroit squares off against the Celtics.

In "No One But The Media Cares...and Maybe Jack Nicholson" news, Kobe Bryant led the Lakers to a victory lastnight, giving Phil "I need the job" Jackson a win on his opening game back with Los Angeles. I am very excited to read all of the drama that's sure to come up this year between Kobe and Phil. I'm hoping that I can read that Kobe and Phil, after a month of ego problems, decided that they were secretly in love, and decided to leave the NBA altogether so they could skinny dip in the Arctic.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


My friend Ryan and I have heated debates on many serious social issues. Here is our latest...

Minnesota Vikings sex boat scandal vs. "Scooter" Libby CIA leak scandal

Steve: Nothing, until now, has made me a fan of the Vikings. This one is short and sweet: I want to party with those guys. CIA leak scandal? The only people who care about this is the press. Everytime I hear about it, I think "Genocide in Africa on page 792".

Ryan: Nothing says "class" like leaving used condoms for other people to clean up. What a country we live in. A high-level government official is basically guilty of treason, but no, the top scandal of the week is a bunch of black dudes screw cheerleaders and leave used condoms for others to clean up. Doesn't that happen everyday?

Faith in God vs. Faith in Money

Steve: I love money. I love it very much. It's as if I was destined to run the Denver mint, and concoct the ultimate scheme. That being said, should I enjoy the money and make it a priority? This runs the risk of eternal damnation, which for me would be a locked room playing Air Supply's greatest hits whilst McCart farts on my face with Kilgore (our old bosses) screaming in the background.

Ryan: Nice one, that is a scary version of hell. I'm going to have to go with Faith in Money though, because at least if that happens I might accumulate more than Kilgore and McCart, and then I can fart in THEIR faces in hell. Now, that's my idea of heaven!!!

Sesame Street is poisoning our youth vs. Sesame Street is important for child development

Steve: Sesame Street, comparitively, has done much more for our youth than, say, the Backstreet Boys, N Sync, 98 Degrees, and Britney Spears. Jim Jones really knows how to poison youth. Besides, having had a child that went through the Sesame Street phase, nothing relieves you more when she says "No I don't want to watch that, it's for little kids". Now if we go just muppets, then we need to discuss Miss Piggy. The only reason there is ANY forgiveness is the whole "Yoda's voice" factor. "Sucks, Miss Piggy does, yes".

Ryan: Woah, you have issues dude. Anyway, any show that has a pimp (they call him the count), and drug-addicted elephant (yes, "Snuffy") a gay couple taking baths together (Hi, Bert and Ernie) and that labels all homeless people as "grouches" might need to be "reworked". Although, I shudder to think of a cleansed Sesame Street with "Politically correct values and ideas".

Salsa versus guacamole

Ryan: Salsa all the way. What the hell is guacamole anyway? I'll tell you. It's that stuff that people say, "what the hell is that? Can't I just have some salsa?" Plus, it's good for you, or so the salsa companies tell me. In fact, there is a man from the Pace corporation standing right behind me telling me that Salsa is far superior. Hey, take it easy with that hot poker, salsa-man!!

Steve: Guacamole, whilst looking like baby poop, is at least TWICE as good as salsa. When I eat salsa, I always have the same reaction: "Mmm, pretty good." However, a good guacamole dip will always solicit this reaction: "Holy F bomb! That $#!+ is AWESOME!!!" Why am I the authority? Look at my stomach. Okay, now look at Ryan's. Let me know when you find it.

Taliban versus Iraqi militants

Ryan: Tough one. I'm going to have to go with the steadfast determination of the Taliban, because they are still claiming ownership and sovereignty in Afghanistan!! Perhaps they didn't notice the election and the fact that they weren't on the ballot, or the fact that their passcode doesn't open the palace doors anymore. But, no matter, they are still there, fighting tooth and nail to be the proud rulers of...a bunch of rock and useless land. Now that's patriotism..

Steve: Iraqi militants get all the press. I know that if I am in Afghanistan, and a taliban nutjob straps a white phosphorous grenade to his sack and blows himself and 13 other up, it's not going to get as much airplay. After all, America was pretty united in going into Afghanistan. Iraq, however, gets the designation of "WTF". An Iraqi homicide bomber (no, it's not suicide), is always going to be making Katie Couric get all serious every time. It's like a band signed by a huge music label (Iraq) versus the local band led by singer Joe Duffy (Taliban).

Ronald Reagan's corpse versus a couch

Ryan: Ronald Reagan's corpse. Are we talking on what's more comfortable to sit on? Then yes, definitely, Ronald Reagan. Anyone who has sat on my couch would agree that his corpse..any corpse, is more comfortable. And, finally, it would be ok for my dog to eat the couch!!

Steve: I am going with the couch, only because if you get the right couch, you could store the corpse. 'Nuff said.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The Nebraska Slasher!

During Nebraska's loss to the Oklahoma Sooners on Saturday, Husker coach Bill Callahan made a gesture that is causing a lot of heat in Huskerland.

According to some, he is making the old "throat slit" gesture to an official.

I have to pause for a moment while I try to figure out what the hell is wrong with our fans.

Ok, I am back. We'll get to the rabid kool-aid drinkers and the constant critics in a second.

"I'm sure that the damage is already done out there, but I think it's blown out of proportion," Callahan said. "I don't know where we get all these gang symbols and all. This is gesture-gate or something. I don't know where it's coming from. I got emotional and I didn't like what I saw."

He continues...

"I talked to the supervisor of the officials last night. In that conversation he said, 'Bill, we don't even know what you're talking about. There was no flag. There was no report,'" Callahan said. "I was frustrated. I was emotional. I made a gesture. I'm going to fight for our team. I'm going to fight for our players. I'm 49 years old. I'm not going to use a gesture. I think this is way blown out of proportion."

That's enough for me when the supervisor of the officials is basically saying "Yeah whatever" to Callahan. Let's forget that Callahan is pulling out some bizarre coach speak by saying "I made a gesture" and following it up with "I'm not going to use a gesture".

Can we focus more on supporting the team when they need it? How about by focusing more on little things like "scoring", and "winning", and "showing up in the first half". You know, little tiny things like that.

As far as the gesture goes, this is SPORTS, people. How many times do coaches and players use signals? Here and there, I think. As far as the threat of killing a man by slitting his throat, that same symbol is also used for stop what you're doing, no, and possibly in this case, no touchdown because of the hold, you retarded blind official.

For those saying it is not a throat slash, shut up. For those saying it is and he meant it in a way that was indicative of Jason Voorhees type bodily harm, then please join the shut up group and stand in the corner.

It is amusing watching the kool-aid club act the way they do over this issue. Callahan and/or Pederson could walk out to the 50 yard line, and take a crap in the face of a wheelchair-bound vegetable, and they'd praise it as if Christ himself had come down from the heavens and denounced the option play.

The anti-Callahan crowd is using this as another reason to pile on criticism, even though, as far as the actual act, there is no need for a critique. His post "death threat" comments could use some polishing, but the whole thing is stupid to begin with.

Let's focus on the team, and stop this incessant need to try and find drama around every corner. Our offensive line is giving us enough drama.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Blog Neglect Is Not A Crime

Well, I can tell you without any doubt that I hate moving. I like the final result, but getting there is a nightmare. This space will probably collect a little more dust over the next couple weeks. But if I can get some time, I will throw some crap up.



Please give me a break. From the article..."The builder estimated the cat had been stuck in the walls at least three weeks."

Three weeks.

"Poor little thing. So sorry we built you into the house," Vano said.
Vano took the cat to a veterinary hospital, where he's being called Hal, because he was found just before Halloween. The homeowner hopes the cat's owner will come forward."

I'd like to add that the cat's owner can't come out, as they are in the concrete foundation.

Nebraska lost to Mizzou. That was a bummer. I find it pretty funny how people (morons) went completely insane over Terry Douglass' prediction picking Missouri over the Huskers. He was raked over the coals in a huge way. Odd that his name is not mentioned at all after the game...

Terry's prediction: Nebraska 21, Missouri 31.
Actual Score: Nebraska 24, Missouri 41.

I like Nebraska's chances against Hillbilly Nation this weekend. If someone could please fire up the O-line, that'd be great. Thanks.

The Pistons are 4-2 in the preseason. Whoo!

The White Sox did what the Cubs can't and won't do. Kudos to them.

...back to moving.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

More Dress Code Drama...

Well, some NBA players are throwing a hissy fit over the dress code.

The Pacers' guard, Stephen Jackson, said he thinks the NBA is afraid the league will be too "hip-hop". To the esteemed Mr. Jackson I say this: you aren't in the hip-hop industry, you are a basketball player. You can dress like that on your off time. I have a full time job, and can't wear a Nebraska Cornhusker t-shirt every day, because it's against dress code.

"But boss, it's who I am, it's part of my culture to wear clothes that supposedly define me!"

You're fired. Shut up.

Paul Pierce of the Celtics says "When I saw the part about chains, hip hop and throwback jerseys, I think that's part of our culture. The NBA is young black males.'' Your culture is not your clothes. And if it is, I'd start looking into a culture a little less focused on absolute retardation. I went into a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and every single employee was hispanic. However, I didn't see enchiladas, salsa, and burritos on the menu. In fact, none of them wore sombreros, either.

Allen Iverson of the 76'ers shows the most narrow view, "I feel like if they want us to dress a certain way, they should pay for our clothes,'' he said. "It's just tough, man, knowing that all of a sudden you have to have a dress code out of nowhere. I don't think that's still going to help the image of the league at all.''

Dude, the league HAS a bad image, and it's time to clean it up. Basketball is an awesome sport, and it pays you very well. And pay for your clothes? If I were an owner, and thank God for the players I am not, anyone refusing to follow the dress code will convert their salary for that season to the league minimum, and THEN I would buy their clothes for work. "They should pay for our clothes" indeed.

The NBA has gone downhill in almost every way. The attitudes above are a reason why.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

NBA Dresscode

In what I think is a great move, the NBA has instituted a dress code for players. NBA commish David Stern defends it here.

In it "...players must dress in "business casual" attire, the league banned items such as sleeveless shirts, shorts, sunglasses while indoors, and headphones during team or league business.

The policy also requires players on the bench who are not in uniform to wear sport jackets, shoes and socks."

What is wrong with this policy? One player argues that it alienates the majority of the fan base. I argue that an excuse like that is horseshit. I think it sets an example.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

RIP Jason Collier

Jason Collier died in his sleep lastnight of a heart attack.

This is obviously a huge loss to the Collier family. The Atlanta Hawks have also suffered a loss of more than a player, they lost a guy of great character. While being with the Hawks for just a short time, Collier was quite active in local charity/community events. He had a reputation as a selfless guy.

His NBA future was bright. Rest in peace.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Golf Courses

I'm off to Colorado next week, and was wondering if anyone has been out to Centre Hills golf course?


Pistons 2-0

Detroit has taken down the Bulls and the Bucks in pre-season play thus far!

New coach Flip Saunders really has walked into an easy situation. The Pistons are an excellent team, and consistently put the team before egos. Saunders is obviously bringing the three-pointer back into the frey for Detroit. Billups sunk three of them in the third to give Detroit the lead.

Joe Dumars has really made some solid moves with this team, and Detroit should be in for another Finals run this year.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Please go and read this. This guy has outstanding posts. An excellent preview to the NU/Baylor game.

Pistons Open With Win

Nice to see the Pistons open against a good Bulls squad with a win, 87-76. New head coach Flip Saunders has to be happy.

As you can see from the picture, however, not all went well. Chicago Bulls' center, Tyson Chandler, is doing something unspeakable with his right hand, causing Ben Wallace of the Pistons to scream out in anguish.

It is, however, only the first game, and the NBA swings more ways than a priest.

The Pistons were ahead pretty much the entire time. Former coach Larry Brown's New York Knicks open on the 15th.

It'll be an interesting season, even though the NBA, apparently, bores the crap out of some of my friends. JERKS! :-)

In Huskerland, it's Baylor this weekend. It's Nebraska's first game on the road this season, and I look for them to come out with a win over a stronger than normal Baylor team. Let's call it Nebraska 28, Baylor 14.

Armaggeddon, anyone?

Angelina Jolie has won a humanitarian award! This is great news for the "End Is Nigh" crowd.

From the article: The actress said her humanitarian work has been "the greatest thing in my life" aside from her two children.

The article failed to mention that coming in a close third was her hobby of "marriage-destroying".

Sure, Angelina's hot, in a "I bet she does things that would make Ron Jeremy blush" sort of way, but come on.

Other people considered for the award were Johann Straussesberg, who is a 47 year old medical worker. His accomplishments include donating over 3 million in personal funds towards aid, as well as saving 7 starving Ethiopian children from a lion attack. Experts think that because of his stout appearance, and lack of any real chin, he wouldn't look good accepting an award.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Sweet Ride...

Well, I've been trying to get as much riding in as I can while the weather holds. The picture you see is my hobby. The only difference is mine is silver. I'm wishing I'd have gotten the blue, but that's life, and hindsight is always 20/20.

Right now I've named it the gas-saver, and once it gets colder, I'll call it the space-waster.

If you're considering buying a bike, buy this one! Nothing sounds like a Harley.


NBA preseason is here! The Pistons have a new coach, but return everyone.

Cleveland at Washington, 7:00
San Antonio at Miami, 7:30

Golden State vs LA Lakers at Honolulu Hi, 12:00 a.m.
Houston at Philadelphia, 7:00
Chicago vs Detroit at Grand Rapids Mi, 7:00
Orlando at Atlanta, 7:00
Indiana at New Jersey, 7:30
Boston vs Cleveland at Pittsburgh Pa, 7:30
Dallas at Sacramento, 10:00

Golden State vs LA Lakers at Honolulu Hi, 12:00 a.m.
Utah at Toronto, 7:00
San Antonio vs Philadelphia at Columbia Sc, 7:30
Milwaukee at Minnesota, 8:00
Chicago at Memphis, 8:00
Orlando at Houston, 8:30
Charlotte vs Atlanta at Birmingham Al, 8:30
Seattle at Portland, 10:00
Dallas at LA Clippers, 10:30

Milwaukee at Detroit, 7:30
New Jersey at Charlotte, 7:30
Utah at Indiana, 8:00
Washington vs San Antonio at Winston-Salem Nc, 8:30
New Orleans at Denver, 9:00

Memphis vs Miami at San Juan Pr, 7:30
Philadelphia at Cleveland, 7:30
Toronto vs Boston at Manchester Nh, 7:30
Minnesota at Indiana, 8:00
Phoenix at Seattle, 10:00
Sacramento at LA Clippers, 10:30

New Orleans vs Orlando at Tampa Fl, 7:00
New York vs New Jersey at Bridgeport Ct, 7:30
Charlotte at Miami, 7:30
Washington at Memphis, 8:00
Houston at San Antonio, 8:30
Boston at Chicago, 8:30
Cleveland at Milwaukee, 8:30
Portland vs Denver at El Paso Tx, 9:00
LA Clippers at Phoenix, 10:00

Maccabi Tel Avi at Toronto, 1:00
Dallas at New York, 6:00
Minnesota at Detroit, 6:00
Golden State at Sacramento, 9:00

Atlanta at Charlotte, 10:00 a.m.
Seattle vs Houston at Oklahoma City Ok, 8:30
Minnesota at Chicago, 8:30
Phoenix at Utah, 9:00

Philadelphia at New York, 7:30
Orlando at Miami, 7:30
Dallas at Detroit, 7:30
Atlanta vs New Orleans at Louisville Ky, 8:00
San Antonio at Indiana, 8:00
Denver at Sacramento, 10:00
LA Clippers at Portland, 10:00
Washington vs LA Lakers at Bakersfield Ca, 10:30

New Jersey at Toronto, 7:00
Memphis at Cleveland, 7:00
Maccabi Tel Avi at Orlando, 7:30
Chicago at Boston, 7:30
Detroit vs Milwaukee at Green Bay Wi, 8:00
LA Clippers at Seattle, 10:00
Phoenix at Golden State, 10:30

Cleveland vs Philadelphia at Trenton Nj, 7:00
Charlotte vs Washington at Los Angeles Ca, 7:30
San Antonio vs New Orleans at Bossier City La, 8:00
Indiana at Minnesota, 8:00
Utah vs Portland at Eugene Or, 10:00
Denver at LA Lakers, 10:30

Boston at Toronto, 7:00
Philadelphia at New Jersey, 7:30
New York at Dallas, 8:30
Milwaukee at Chicago, 8:30
Seattle at Phoenix, 10:00

Atlanta at Orlando, 7:00
Miami at Detroit, 7:30
New Jersey vs Boston at Uncasville Ct, 7:30
Houston at Memphis, 8:00
New York at San Antonio, 8:30
Minnesota at Milwaukee, 8:30
Sacramento at Portland, 10:00
Seattle at Golden State, 10:30

Toronto vs Cleveland at Columbus Oh, 6:00
LA Clippers at Dallas, 7:30
Washington at Houston, 8:30
Charlotte vs LA Lakers at San Diego Ca, 9:30
Phoenix vs Sacramento at Fresno Ca, 10:00

Portland vs Toronto at Winnipeg Manitoba, 7:00
Denver at New Orleans, 8:00
Orlando at Memphis, 8:00
Atlanta vs Miami at Nashville Tn, 8:00
LA Clippers vs Golden State at Missoula Mt, 10:30

New York at Philadelphia, 7:00
Boston at New Jersey, 7:30
Indiana at San Antonio, 8:30
Memphis at Chicago, 8:30
Milwaukee at Dallas, 8:30
Miami vs New Orleans at Baton Rouge La, 8:30
Utah vs LA Lakers at Anaheim Ca, 10:30

Indiana at Charlotte, 7:30
Cleveland at Boston, 7:30
Chicago at Minnesota, 8:00
Utah at Houston, 8:30
Milwaukee at Denver, 9:00
Toronto at Portland, 10:00
Sacramento vs Phoenix at Albuquerque Nm, 10:00

Miami at Orlando, 7:30
Memphis vs Atlanta at Chattanooga Tn, 7:30
Philadelphia at San Antonio, 8:30
Detroit at Dallas, 8:30
New Orleans vs Houston at Laredo Tx, 8:30
Golden State at Phoenix, 10:00
Seattle at LA Clippers, 10:30

New Orleans vs Atlanta at Columbus Ga, 7:00
New Jersey at New York, 7:30
Detroit at Minnesota, 8:00
Washington at Indiana, 8:00
Denver at Utah, 9:00
Portland vs Seattle at Spokane Wa, 10:00
Sacramento vs LA Lakers at Las Vegas Nv, 10:00


Saturday, October 08, 2005

Nebraska Loses

Even after this loss, I am plenty enthused. Zac Taylor has such great poise, and for this team to play the way it did in the second half was great. A loss is a loss, and that sucks, but when you lose, do you lie down and take it, or do you fight your ass off to win the game? I saw some fighting on the field, and am proud of the Huskers.


Wednesday, October 05, 2005


In his recent column, Kirk Herbstreit talks about Notre Dame, and I feel those comments could apply to Nebraska.

"Notre Dame has been an example of what a new head coach can do when he has the chance to put in his own system and teaches his team about what it takes to be a winner. The Irish have validated that with some big wins and head coach Charlie Weis has them playing with a lot of confidence. When you win a couple of big games, all of a sudden what Weis has been preaching no longer sounds like just talk."

Last year was convoluted for the Huskers. But this year, we ARE seeing results. Positive results leads to confidence, and that leads to elevated play.

Nebraska Versus Texas Tech

There is a lot of interest in this game, as last year the Red Raiders slapped the crap out of the Huskers to the tune of 70-10. Click the link to read an article that shows some good perspective from the Huskers.

Coach Bill Callahan says: "All the Knute Rockne pep talks before a game go out the window when that ball is kicked," coach Bill Callahan said. "We're not going to jump up and down and get mad about something. It's a different year, a different team, a whole different dynamic than a year ago."

Absolutely right. The Huskers are undefeated going into the game, we've seen a dramatic defensive improvement, and if the offense can replicate its ability to move the ball (and improve redzone play), Tech has its hands full. Texas texh leads the NCAA in points per game, but they also played a middle school, I think.

Bo Ruud: "Nobody intimidates us," he said. "You can sit there and work yourself into a frenzy. Right now we're doing what we've done every game. That means we're not going to talk trash in the media. We're trying to keep it on the level."

This is one reason I love Nebraska football. The media is quick to jump on any type of controversy, and Mr. Ruud lays it on the line quite nicely. Last season's debacle will not be repeated, and I am anxious to get this win under our belts.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Zac Taylor

It's nice to see Zac getting some national attention.

Against Maine: 15/36, 41.7%, 192 yds
Against WF: 14/33, 42.4%, 114 yds
Against Pitt: 10/20, 50%, 93 yds
Against Iowa State: 36/55, 65.5%, 431 yds

The only "surprise" here is receivers finally catching the ball. Those numbers say less about him, however, and more about the rest of the offense starting to come together. How many times this year has Zac thrown the ball dead on and it was incomplete? It was frustrating to watch, to be sure.I think the WCO doesn't have a happy medium in its cosmetics. This style of play is either great fun to watch, or it can be plain ugly.

Saturday's win over Iowa State was impressive. It's a riot to watch the "experts" who said we'd destroy them backpedal. Iowa State is like a lot of college football programs: they are notorious for playing to their level of competition. How was Iowa State's game last season before they played Nebraska? Face it, you play the Cornhuskers, and you need to step it up. Iowa State is a good team, no question, but what is missing for them is the ability to be consistent and lay down the hurt on people every week.

If the Huskers can keep up this kind of offensive improvement, and work harder at redzone scoring, the WCO will look even prettier. I like the option as much as the next guy, but I also know that I liked what I saw Saturday. From the sound of it, so did 80,000 others.

Zac Taylor is a field general, and that's been missing. I'm pleasantly surprised to see his poise.