Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Bo Pelini is new. Bill Callahan is gone. Tom Osborne is interim Athletic Director. Those prior events aren't listed in order. FYI.
I am bittersweet over the Callahan thing. It was my hope that he could work out. His inability to adapt, be it staff adjustments (defensive) or even in-game adjustments, exposed his shortcomings.
I am pleased as all get out in regards to Tom Osborne being in place. Pederson ended up being a nightmare, and now he is back at Pittsburgh. More power to Pitt, as they will need all the luck they can get their hands on.
Pelini is getting his staff in place, and I think that the Nebraska Cornhuskers are in for some exciting years. Pelini is the kind of guy that inspires players, and aside from glimpses of inspired play the last few years, I hope Pelini can get us there consistently.
Welcome back, Coach.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I have been a defender of Callahan since he came on board. What we've seen is the complete destruction of the Cornhusker football program.
What happened? Well, anyone who reads this blog knows the history of how we came to be where we are now. I have no interest in revisiting that crap, because it's a waste of breath. Sure, I am technically typing...but you get the drift.
I am not at practices. I do not have an "inside source". From what I can see, I can tell you that it isn't motivation. The majority of the players are not motivated, and the coaches do not seem motivated. When you get blasted like we have all season long (even against Ball St.), save Nevada, you have got to start looking at all facets of the program.
1.) Coaching. This is the most stubborn staff I have ever seen. If adjustments are made, they are made too late. Football is a game of both proactive and reactive behavior. When our defense, especially, keeps pulling the same crap week after week, reality rears its ugly head. Now that the offense has stalled out for 2 straight weeks, hopefully accountability will follow.
2.) Players. We have a very talented group of individuals. Therein lies the problem. This is a team sport, and these kids made the choice to play for Nebraska. When your defensive captain turns in his Blackshirt to set an example, and no one follows, a coach should be stepping in to show his captain that he has his back. There are lots of unverified rumors about players who are not content with the coaches. If that is the case, and you are playing horribly because you dislike your situation, that's sad.
3.) AD Steve Pederson. After his incredibly horrible "process", in which he admits he wishes he'd done it differently, his job will be on shaky ground if he continues to hide in the bunker and not be a decisive leader. I tried not to giggle when I typed that last sentence.
This will be the longest season I have ever experienced as a life-long fan.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Casey Stoner wraps it up! The young Australian dominated all year, and with just a few races left, he has gained the necessary points to win it. Stoner is a great rider, and the switch this year to Ducati has obviously been a successful venture for both parties. This week the riders hit Motegi, Japan. Kudos to Nicky Hayden for having the fastest lap in practice. The rest of the season here will be a blur, as I am pumped about MotoGP adding another date in the States next year. Indianapolis is now on board, investing millions to the track itsself to bring in the world's premier motorcycle race.
Nebraska Cornhuskers Defensive Woes Continue
Okie dokie, the Huskers are 4-1. Good news, right? We have only lost to USC, and they are number one! If that is the snapshot you prefer to look at, then the news is great. That said, our defense has allowed approximately 86,392 yards so far this season. Ok, that's obviously an exaggeration, but they say "defense wins championships". Our defense had some key plays last week against Iowa State, but still gave up well over 400 yards. AGAINST IOWA STATE.
Hang on a second here...IOWA STATE.
The schedule from here on out isn't exactly a cakewalk. Missouri is on deck next Saturday, and it will not be easy. I think it will be a high scoring affair, and am picking NU over Missouri 42-35 (because God knows you have to make a pick, you aren't a real fan if you don't). Cosgrove can start tightening his crew up now. He is the defensive coach, and the accountability of bad play lies with him.
Friday, September 21, 2007
It was a bloodletting. You can say the team didn't give up toward the end all you want. You can use pathetic excuses like they took away our momentum with fake injuries. You can talk all day about how this is supposed to be the best USC team in the history of the universe. You still, however, will need to be fair and talk about how our defense was manhandled like we were a lower-tier D-2 team. The offense didn't do terribly, but we've got to be able to execute better than that.
The holes were ridiculously huge, and USC took advantage. The Huskers haven't practiced in full pads since Fall Camp. If there isn't a consistent focused placed on the fundamentals, you can lose them. Cosgrove, in my opinion, better start presenting a defense that lays the hurt on people the rest of the season, or I fear it will be his last. His history doesn't lean toward us dominating anything.
We have Ball State this weekend, and if this is a close game, I am liable to go completely bat$#!+.
Have a good weekend!
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Yadda yadda yadda Casey Stoner wins yadda yadda yadda. In all seriousness, I have to wonder what would have happened had there not been a lap one multi-bike wreck that took out Dani Pedrosa, and may as well have taken out reigning world champ Nicky Hayden. Not to mention Rossi having technical problems.
This is, in my opinion, the toughest race in the circuit, with LOTS of turns. Had Hayden, Pedrosa, or Rossi been able to sustain, their abilities could have evened out the speed of Stoner's Ducati. Then again, the fact that Stoner did not have exaggerated straight-aways to blow through proves he is for real. Congrats to Casey Stoner.
Nebraska Cornhuskers Win Big
Let's all take a deep breath and say "It's the first game of the season". Why should we do that? Because some people take a route over Nevada as the key victory Callahan has needed, and USC will be a similar blowout. Please.
And to those who are finding tons of faults with the Husker victory, it is, again, the first game of the season. Let's shake out the cobwebs, and let the new guys get comfortable.
Speaking of new guys: Sam Keller. He had an impressive performance and settled into a rhythm. Is he the second coming of the Lord our Savior? Sorry, no. But is he going to be an excellent QB who does an excellent job at Nebraska? Absolutely. Strap yourselves in and enjoy it. He showed a few times some real nice poise under pressure, and as long as he can keep that same type of poise against real competition, then we will fair well.
The other new guy that stood out to me: Octavien. Technically he is not a new guy, however, I finally believe the hype. Keep this monster healthy, please! Watching him lay a beatdown several times yesterday was a nice stress reliever.
To Marlon Lucky: if this is how you play after a concussion or two, then someone routinely knock this guy out. Awesome performance all around. It was awesome to see this young man run up and down the field at will. There will be much, much better defenses to face, but with this type of opener, it should create a nice confidence level.
Coach Callahan and his new OC did a nice job as well, sticking with what works. Cosgrove also kept things mixed up. To not take this game in context is to look too hard to either have a fanboy orgasm, or complain about something. Nebraska blew out a team in the opener. Big deal, you say? It's important, and here is why: when we struggle with someone like Maine, and then apologist after apologist has to come out with this over-inflated BS about how we faced an incredible Maine squad (that no one really hears from the rest of the season), we can start eliminating excuses.
To others who say we were running up the score: RUN UP THE SCORE. Nebraska is a team that needs to make a statement. You do not make a statement against anyone by keeping it close. You do not make a statement to your tougher competition by showing difficulty against a team the likes of Nevada. Put yourself in a USC players' shoes. If Nebraska scrapes past Nevada, then you would think a team like USC will kill NU.
To the team: destroy Wake by 20-30 points. Keep making statements. Excellent opener.
GO BIG RED!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Hi. Glad you could join us here at Steve's Bar & Grille. In the wake of the Michael Vick dog-fighting scandal, it's time to weigh in on some of the outcry...and support Mr. Vick has received. Vick has entered a plea of guilty, and did a wonderful job listening to his people by apologizing half-heartedly.
With us on the panel is Animal Rights activist Chris Ashton. She heads up the Tough Love for Dog Fighters sub-committee.
On the other side of the aisle is Roberto Guardiola, a proponent of dog fighting, running over penned up chickens, and the active chainsawing of seeing-eye dogs.
Roberto, we'll start with you.
RG: Please, call me Rob.
SBG: Sure. Rob, as a big fan of Michael Vick's "Bad Newz Kennels", how do you justify the slaughtering of not only dogs, but the inclusion of Urban slang used in the title. If "Newz" has a "z" at the end, shouldn't "Kennels"?
RG: Look, if you aren't down with the street now, you never will be. As for the dogs, that's all they are. Dogs. They are plentiful in supply. It's not like they are endangered or anything. Besides, when breeded for killing, what do you want Vick to do, send it to the animal shelter when we are done watching it get mauled half to death?
SBG: Chris, in your experience, can both the humans who find this sort of thing enjoyable and the dogs that participate be rehabilitated?
CA: As a tough love advocate for these criminals, I have yet to find one that can be truly rehabilitated. My experience to this point has been to dish out the tough, because the love has yet to be earned. When this disgusting pig Robert mentions that dogs are plentiful in supply, and they aren't endangered, well so are humans. It's life imprisonment or the death penalty when convicted of murder. The penalty for cruelty to animals should be equal.
RG: What, because you think killing an animal is the same as killing a human? You and your treehugging liberal wackjob friends may feel that way but be real here. When killing a human, it's because they did something to deserve it. When you kill an animal, it's because it's usually funny to hear the sound of them shrieking, and then choking on their own blood.
SBG: Rob, please be serious, you can't honestly mean that. Domesticated animals, whether you are an activist or not, rely on humans for care, and morally should not be subjected to any sort of abuse. Chris, according to reports, Vick and his fellow dog fighters killed a minimum of 8 dogs. Could animals bred to kill be turned back into a household pet?
CA: Absolutely. In fact, I own three pit bulls now who were all once professional dog fighters. You need to provide a loving, caring environment for them to nurture in. These animals were only trained to kill by methods that most certainly do not include love and attention.
SBG: We are almost out of time. Let's move to closing statements. Rob.
RG: Look, the media and the public are really making a big deal over nothing. I don't see anyone protecting mice. You can buy devices to kill them in stores, for crying out loud. I have to endure a waiting period and a background check to get my dog-killing device. Vick should be thanked for providing hours of hilarious entertainment to literally 10's of people.
CA: The longer we allow society to go soft on animal murderers, the harder it will be to regain our souls. People who get enjoyment out of this should endure the same punishment they dish out.
SBG: Chris, Rob, I want to thank you for sharing your views. In the next panel we will discuss the influence Charles Manson had on Michael Vick. Goodnight.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Ugandan government accused of "state homophobia"
NAIROBI (Reuters ) - An international human rights group has accused President Yoweri Museveni's government of promoting "state homophobia" in Uganda and urged the repeal of a colonial-era law against sodomy.
The article failed to mention the name of the human rights group: Gay Men Who Are Really Horny. Come on, Kamala!!!
Vick suspended indefinitely without pay
Vick acknowledged bankrolling gambling on the dogfights, but denied placing bets himself or taking any of the winnings.
You see!? I knew he is still a great guy! That makes it all okay.
He admitted that dogs not worthy of the pit were killed "as a result of the collective efforts" of himself and two co-defendants.
Thieves hit Kirsten Dunst's NYC suite
Thieves slipped into the actress' rooms at the SoHo Grand Hotel on Aug. 9, court records show. Dunst, who was in town to shoot scenes for a forthcoming film called "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People," had left early that morning, according to the records.
Darting into the suite through an open door, the thieves grabbed designer bags, $2,500 in cash, credit and ID cards, two digital cameras, a cell phone and an iPod music player, court records show. A surveillance camera captured the burglars leaving the hotel with the items.
I wonder if they also nabbed her book on how to tilt your head irritatingly 42,648 times per movie.
In World News...
Well lookee there! I am telling you, when I want my feel-good stories, I will continue to click on the "World" tab on the Yahoo front page. If the world has 6 billion people, we are down 33. I wish the American press would run two stats for us on a daily basis...the death toll in Iraq, and the death toll in America every day. Have a nice weekend!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Sam Keller has been named QB for the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Does this shock anyone? He has one year, and I think he will show off his talent quite well. We have a more than able backup in Joe Ganz, so this season is looking good from a QB perspective. I'm a little concerned about the blackshirts...GO DEFENSE!
Onto other exciting news...Michael Vick. I say we lock this guy up for a maximum sentence, and let his fellow inmates find interesting uses for mop/broom handles. I saw some jackhole being interviewed on TV this morning, stating how the public is fed up with celebrities who think they can get away with anything. This is something that will continue to happen as long as people who are screwed up in the head receive large sums of money. People tend to believe their own hype, and we get to watch them kill dogs, snort coke, and ram their SUV's into whatever is in their way. The problem is with the legal system that treats them special. Let 'em fry!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
In second place was John Hopkins. This was his highest finish in the MotoGP ranks, and he ran an excellent race. Rounding out the podium was reigning World Champ Nicky Hayden, who has made 3 podium appearances in his last 4 races. Hayden started off a tad rough after being in the second position. Hayden's teammate Dani Pedrosa finished fourth, with Chris Vermeulen rounding out the top 5.
Let's not kid ourselves, Stoner won it big...7+ seconds between he and Hopkins.
Next up is San Marino. Go Nicky Hayden!!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Barry Bonds is, as of this writing/typing, tied with non-steroid freak Hank Aaron. Way to go, Barry! I, and countless others, look up to your amazing dedication, and marvel at your metamorphisis...
When children all across the land look to ways to succeed in athletics, they will be able to follow your shining example of how to be a steroid junkie, and shatter records that mere mortals once labored intensively at creating.
I love sports today, with its thug culture and ability to make one realize that their own lives aren't as bad as athletes who have to wake up every morning and realize they cheated their way to greatness.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Casey Stoner takes Laguna. I feel badly for Nicky Hayden, reigning world champ, who is 9th in the point standings. It's been a tough year. They get a break until mid-August.
Blah blah blah fans hate each other...off-season crap couldn't be more of a sleeper...blah blah blah. I am looking forward to watching Sam Kellar. I hope he is as tough as Zac Taylor.
The Bourne Ultimatum is out this weekend. These movies are excellent, without question (you hear me Buddy Cole). Sorry Buddy, my blatant attempt to challenge you was a little transparent.
I am happy to say that I have no travel plans until September (Vegas, baby)!! I was recently in Colorado, and northern Michigan. The latter was vacation, and Lake Michigan was real nice, and that part of the country is gorgeous.
Maybe I will type more in September! :)
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Well the season has been fun, but it's being dominated by the 21 year-old Australian, Casey Stoner. Since switching over to Ducati, he's been hard to catch. He also is just plain good on the bike. Last year apparently wasn't indicative of his talents. I never would have predicted Stoner would be where he is today. Stoner is not without competition, because on his tail is the Italian phenom, Valentino Rossi. Here are the standings...
- Casey Stoner 185 points
- Valentino Rossi 164
- Dani Pedrosa 119
- John Hopkins 94
- Chris Vermeulen 88
- Marco Melandri 87
- Colin Edwards 75
- Alex Barros 69
- Nicky Hayden 57
- Loris Capirossi 57
It's the most boring off-season ever. Some good recruits coming in...typical of the staff. Let's hope we can retain some and have them make a difference on the field. Maurice Purify's DUI is the only real off-season story people are giving attention to, right or wrong. So he ties Solich with numbers of DUI's, right?
BUSY. Step off. I hate airports.
Two. Live Free or Die Hard and the new Fantastic Four movie.
The Fantastic Four: LOTS of fun. Much better than the first one, and I liked the first one (sorry Buddy). So the Silver Surfer...excellent CGI here, and it was voiced by none other than Morpheus. I kept waiting to hear him offer the Human Torch a red pill or a blue pill, and then ask him retarded questions like: "What IS reality?"
Anyway, this movie was more of what the first one should have been, good old-fashioned FF fun. Great interplay between the cast, and Johnny Storm was hilarious. I give this 4 out of 5, through my kaleidoscope of movie critiques. (Damn you, Buddy Cole!!) Once Buddy sees it, I would like to revisit this topic...
Live Free or Die Hard: I saw it last night, and was VERY happily surprised. After the third one, I wasn't expecting much, and thought it might be too "smarmy" for me. But for the first time in a long time, I saw an action movie with that big 80's feel, and still had a good story. Some things are just not plausible at all, but I didn't go expecting the freakin' Godfather. I wanted to see Bruce Willis ice some dudes.
More to come, my schedule is lighter.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
In my previous blog, my feelings are summed up quite nicely about the NFL draft. That said, best of luck to the Huskers selected. As a college fan only, the NFL is pretty meaningless to me, but the college players who want to elevate themselves need to perform, hence making the college game more fun to watch. So again, well done to the Huskers moving up to the big leagues!
I can't wait for the season to start. I grow weary of reading message boards that complain about every tiny nuance of the game. In fact, I am convinced that unless you are anything but a blind loyalist, reading the drivel on boards will drive you insane. Take the Quadtards, for example, on Huskerpedia: HuskerNCorpus, unmartin, Root4NU, and kdog. Or replace them with a lot of other fans 18-27. Age isn't the problem as much as it is the "know-it-all" mentality. Every board has that. When you come across as a pompous, arrogant prick, normal people that aren't eager to give you a reach-around aren't going to take anything you say seriously.
Personally, I like being a pompous, arrogant prick who is at least honest about the program, good and bad. You can't be neutral on a Husker message board, it seems. If you are, you are assigned a side anyway. So goes the message board world. Lots of great info to share, that quickly deteriorates into garbage.
How about the schedule next year? Let's predict now while there is nothing else to do!
09/01 Nevada: Win. Come on. Nevada?
09/08 @ Wake Forest: Could be a good early season game, but Huskers take it.
09/15 Southern Cal: Loss. Sorry, I love the Huskers, but beating USC ain't in the cards.
09/22 Ball State: Ha! Ball State will be slapped. Hard.
09/29 Iowa State: Closer than the kool-aid crowd would have you believe, but the disarray with the Cyclones will lead to another Husker win.
10/06 @ Missouri: Great game, Huskers by a TD.
10/13 Oklahoma State: Huskers.
10/20 Texas A&M: Close game here, but it's at home, and the Huskers will take it.
10/27 @ Texas: Texas wins.
11/03 @ Kansas: Huskers come into Kansas a little pissed and slap them around.
11/10 Kansas State: Oh the irony if we lose this one at home. We won't.
11/23 @ Colorado: Huskers, and I will go on record and predict a minimum of 45 pieces of debris hitting the field.
12/01 Big 12 Champ: We lose to Texas.
X / X Bowl game: who knows.
3 losses, and I'm not picking the bowl. I can certainly live with that.
Others are talking about this being the "do or die" year for Callahan. I don't think so. Bill Callahan is a much smarter man than his boss, and his improvement both with himself and with the team are easy to see.
I do like the schedule in coming years. Hopefully we can get Need A Pen Community College on there, too.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
From the article...
A Bentonville, Ark., man is seeking $20,000 from the city after his two teenage sons found a book on lesbian sex on a public library bookshelf.
He also wants the library director fired.
Earl Adams said his 14- and 16-year-old sons were "greatly disturbed" after finding the book, titled "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book." Adams said the book caused "many sleepless nights in our house."
Coincidentally, an overnight session with Bentonville's hottest 2-girl escorts costs...$20,000!
Have fun, dad!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The young man from Australia does it again. Casey Stoner takes Turkey, after a wild day. In his second win in this class (and winner of two out of three races this year), he is looking much more polished than he did last season. He ran another, almost flawless, race. Congrats to Stoner. Stoner took first after Rossi went wide and actually ran into the grass, and led the way from that point forward. When do you see Rossi make mistakes like that?
Toni Elias caused some small controversy on his way to second place on the podium, while Loris Capirossi finished third.
The day was not without some bumps and bruises. Frenchman Olivier Jacque inadvertantly created a pile up that took out contenders Dani Pedrosda and Colin Edwards. Chris Vermeulen was also in that crash, but was able to get back up and at least finish. Considering he was too far behind to win, he did ride a fantastic race thereafter when you look at his times.Rossi, after running off the track, looked as if he was on his way back to another podium finish, but tire problems forced him down to, get this, 10th place. As I mentioned earlier, Elias caused a bit of controversy in the race, passing Rossi rather aggressively.
"I am angry with Elias because I think he was quite dangerous because he changed his line while passing and I nearly crashed," Rossi said. "I had high expectations for this race however my rear tire had some internal problem, between the casing and the tread and I had to slow down. It was scary."
Elias added "this is racing" and that "it was very close and Valentino’s bike made a strange move as I passed him."
World champ Nicky Hayden finished 7th.
Point standings after three:
- Casey Stoner 61
- Valentino Rossi 51
- Dani Pedrosa 36
- Toni Elias 35
- Marco Melandri 30
- Colin Edwards 26
- Alex Barros 25
- John Hopkins 23
- Chris Vermeulin 21
- Loris Capirossi 20
- Shinya Nakano 15
- Carlos Checa 14
- Alex Hoffman 12
- Randy De Puniet 11
- Olivier Jacque 4
- Makoto Tamada 4
- Kenny Roberts Jr. 3
- Sylvain Guintoli 3
Race highlights below, check out the 4 bike wreck around 26 seconds into the clip.
Shanghai is next May 6th!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
A record qualifying session led up to a good race on Sunday. The top 10 qualifiers were all within four TENTHS of a second of each other. The race was a different story.
Valentino Rossi takes the race along with the lead in the championship standings. World champ Nicky Hayden had a good start, but finished 7th. It's way too early to count out the current world champ, but his team mate, Dani Pedrosa, had the pole position in Sunday's race, and is looking very strong this year.
John Hopkins was riding with a broken bone in his right hand, and after an incredible comeback, he crashed out of 4th place on lap 17 after passing Hayden. Bummer for Hopkins, who was really coming on strong, but apparently pushed it just a tad hard.
Hopkins goes from Spain to surgery on his hand. Best wishes to him.
Congrats to Rossi for his impressive showing in Spain in front of 140,000 people. Up next is Turkey! This track is tricky, and should make for an interesting race.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Some changes in the off-season took place. The bikes are now down to 800 cc's. Seven time World Champ Valentino Rossi is still on the Yamaha, with different sponsors/bike color, and 21 year old Australian Casey Stoner is on a new bike this year: the Ducati.
Watching the race, it was Stoner in first, with Rossi fighting right behind him the whole way. A brief lead change late in the race could not stop the powerful Ducati in the straights, and Stoner took his first ever MotoGP 1st place finish, followed by Rossi, and Dani Pedrosa.
Reigning World Champ Nicky Hayden finishes 8th.
March 24th takes the racers to Spain, and Hayden is going to be looking for a stronger finish if he wants to be able to contend again this year. It's very difficult to catch up if you get down too far with these riders. MotoGP is the Formula One of Motorcycle racing, and there is no room for error.
Ducati is off to a great start in Stoner. Of course, with the power of the bike, along with the fact that the main straight in Qatar is over a kilometer in length, the Yamaha was just outmatched.
Hats off to Stoner for an impressive win.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Overall an interesting piece. One area stuck out...
When asked about the handling of Frank Solich's termination, Pederson says the following:
I think first of all, my parents said you have (to) do what you believe is the right thing. Not everybody is always going to agree with that, and what we chose to do was not to respond to every rumor, innuendo or suggestion.
I believe the truth is a powerful thing, and over the course of time the truth eventually comes out. Now during that time you might get beat up for a while, but we tried not to justify too many decisions or too many things because sometimes it's not in everybody's best interest to know everything. People kept saying, "You need to tell us more," and I said, "I can't tell you more. It is what it is, and we're going to keep moving forward."
I wish in retrospect that, in the process of making a coaching change, we would've spelled out more clearly what the process was going to be. I think we did that in basketball (in 2006), and it seemed to be much more effective. I know they reported that I talked for 25 minutes when we announced that we were looking for a new basketball coach, but I spelled out in detail how we were going to go about it, and I wish that we'd done that in football.
Very interesting. My only question now is for those that have defended the process since the change took place: do you know also wish it could have been handled better? Or do you still stand firm in the opinion that it was handled like it should have been?
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Anyway...I was recently conversing with my good pal Buddy Cole over the telephone. The conversation seemed to be going well. Even if he did completely rip apart Bronco's. home of the best freakin' food on the planet. Okay, he didn't really rip on them. In fact he wasn't even really negative about them. I'm finding it really hard to rag on Buddy.
So we were talking movies, as we often do, and The Fantastic Four came up.
It was more than apparent Buddy wasn't impressed with the film. I told him it was a good "popcorn flick". You know, the kind of movie you see once, it ain't bad, but it certainly isn't as good as, say, Super Troopers. Buddy's reply was pretty funny, actually…"It had better be some good popcorn."
Well it WAS good popcorn. They use real butter at the Jordan Creek theaters. They also serve ice cream, pizza, and a wide variety of food. Oh yeah, they also serve Nathan's hot dogs. Yum. So IN Y OUR FACE, Buddy Cole!! Ok, I know that was weak…
What the hell am I typing about? Oh yeah! Jessica Alba in spandex! Mr. Cole, I don't care how good your popcorn is, that's worth the price of admission (matinee pricing).
When this movie came out, my good friend Ryan (of point/counterpoint fame, as well as an upcoming project to be announced in the next few days), his lovely wife Christa, and I all went to see this movie when it came out. My wife and daughter were out of town visiting relatives, so I was free to be a third wheel.
We hit the mall, and grabbed some food court grub. I could go on and on about this mall staple, but that's the stuff of another blog. As we were eating, we saw some guy we used to work with…CLEANING TABLES. He apparently suffered a bout of class consciousness and proceeded to tell Ryan and I how he was in charge of the whole operation. Yet he was CLEANING TABLES. I won't throw out names, but Chuck, come on. Have some dignity and act like you don't recognize us.
I'm having focus problems today. The movie. The Fantastic Four movie is based off of a Marvel Comics team of the same name. There's Reed Richards, or Mr. Fantastic. He can stretch. This was a pretty creepy effect, really, and makes you wonder what all he can stretch. He's the brains of the outfit, and is kind of a dork. Not much of a sense of humor, fairly dry and has the propensity to ramble using long words. He's the leader of the group.
Next up is Jessica Alba in spandex. She plays Sue Storm, the Invisible Woman. She is spunky, assertive, yet soft and loving at the same time (puke). She and Reed "had a thing". She is the brother to Johnny Storm, the Human Torch. Now when I was a kid, I read comics, and the Human Torch was one of my favorite characters. He was hip, funny, and always got the hoes.
Lastly, there is the ever lovin' Thing. Ben Grimm is a big giant guy like the Hulk, but made of rock. He doesn't like it, see. People think he looks like a monster, and it makes him sad. He and Johnny Storm get on each other's nerves and hijinks ensue. Ben and Reed were best pals. I'm not sure why, considering Reed's intellect and Ben's dimwitted approach to pretty much everything. Perhaps Reed isn't so smart after all, and feels the need to surround himself with embiciles to keep his self-esteem afloat. I do that.
So they all are on a space mission sponsored by the film's bad guy, Victor Von Doom (Dr. Doom). He also goes along. Whilst in space, they are all infected by cosmic radiation that gives them their powers/disfigurations. Long story short, Doom goes nuts, is bad, Reed, Sue, Johnny, and Ben realize they need to be a team to take him down, and take him down they do.
This was not cinematic history in the making. It was like watching the breezy fun of a mid-season replacement sit-com.
So why was it good? It was good because, while it attempted a little too much to be funny, it stuck fairly close to what I remember the comic book to be like. In the comic Reed was a nerd, but you liked him anyway. Check. Ben Grimm was cool and didn't take crap from anyone. Check. Johnny Storm was awesome, cool powers, and always irritating authority figures, and Sue was just kind of there. The movie had these things.
When you go to a comic movie, the bar should not be Batman Begins or Superman 2. The bar needs to be George Clooney's Batman. Why? Because EVERYTHING is better. I strongly believe that a comic book movie made about Iron Man trying to get out of his armor to go to the bathroom, but there are a problem with the servos, and he tries for 90 minutes to get out of the darn suit would be better than watching George Clooney in Batman.
The Fantastic Four had great special effects, and the scene at the bridge in the beginning was pretty awesome. Doom was a reject, but it wasn't the governor of California playing Mr. Freeze. Johnny Storm genuinely made me laugh.
Buddy Cole, do not relegate yourself to "movie snob". Do, however, go to apple.com and watch the trailer to the next Fantastic Four movie. That trailer was better than the entire first movie.