Hi. Glad you could join us here at Steve's Bar & Grille. In the wake of the Michael Vick dog-fighting scandal, it's time to weigh in on some of the outcry...and support Mr. Vick has received. Vick has entered a plea of guilty, and did a wonderful job listening to his people by apologizing half-heartedly.
With us on the panel is Animal Rights activist Chris Ashton. She heads up the Tough Love for Dog Fighters sub-committee.
On the other side of the aisle is Roberto Guardiola, a proponent of dog fighting, running over penned up chickens, and the active chainsawing of seeing-eye dogs.
Roberto, we'll start with you.
RG: Please, call me Rob.
SBG: Sure. Rob, as a big fan of Michael Vick's "Bad Newz Kennels", how do you justify the slaughtering of not only dogs, but the inclusion of Urban slang used in the title. If "Newz" has a "z" at the end, shouldn't "Kennels"?
RG: Look, if you aren't down with the street now, you never will be. As for the dogs, that's all they are. Dogs. They are plentiful in supply. It's not like they are endangered or anything. Besides, when breeded for killing, what do you want Vick to do, send it to the animal shelter when we are done watching it get mauled half to death?
SBG: Chris, in your experience, can both the humans who find this sort of thing enjoyable and the dogs that participate be rehabilitated?
CA: As a tough love advocate for these criminals, I have yet to find one that can be truly rehabilitated. My experience to this point has been to dish out the tough, because the love has yet to be earned. When this disgusting pig Robert mentions that dogs are plentiful in supply, and they aren't endangered, well so are humans. It's life imprisonment or the death penalty when convicted of murder. The penalty for cruelty to animals should be equal.
RG: What, because you think killing an animal is the same as killing a human? You and your treehugging liberal wackjob friends may feel that way but be real here. When killing a human, it's because they did something to deserve it. When you kill an animal, it's because it's usually funny to hear the sound of them shrieking, and then choking on their own blood.
SBG: Rob, please be serious, you can't honestly mean that. Domesticated animals, whether you are an activist or not, rely on humans for care, and morally should not be subjected to any sort of abuse. Chris, according to reports, Vick and his fellow dog fighters killed a minimum of 8 dogs. Could animals bred to kill be turned back into a household pet?
CA: Absolutely. In fact, I own three pit bulls now who were all once professional dog fighters. You need to provide a loving, caring environment for them to nurture in. These animals were only trained to kill by methods that most certainly do not include love and attention.
SBG: We are almost out of time. Let's move to closing statements. Rob.
RG: Look, the media and the public are really making a big deal over nothing. I don't see anyone protecting mice. You can buy devices to kill them in stores, for crying out loud. I have to endure a waiting period and a background check to get my dog-killing device. Vick should be thanked for providing hours of hilarious entertainment to literally 10's of people.
CA: The longer we allow society to go soft on animal murderers, the harder it will be to regain our souls. People who get enjoyment out of this should endure the same punishment they dish out.
SBG: Chris, Rob, I want to thank you for sharing your views. In the next panel we will discuss the influence Charles Manson had on Michael Vick. Goodnight.
