Suicide bombers vs. Carpet bombers
Ryan: Nothing says loving like a good old fashioned carpet bombing. The firestorm of Dresden is a great example of how thousands and thousands of bombs can incinerate all people, places, and things in an entire city!! In fact, we probably wouldn't have won WWII if we didn't carpet bomb. That's how the USA should solve all relations with all nations that disagree...immediately carpet bomb their 10 largest cities!! I can't imagine it would be much worse than our current foreign policy...
Steve: Carpet bombing is NOTHING compared to the gruesome-ness of a suicide (homicide) bomber. Carpet bombing certainly has its place, without question. However, the bombers aren't really getting their hands dirty. A suicide (homicide) bomber gets his hands dirty, but digging in the trenches, as it were. He gets to take clear advantage of the fruits of his labors by having his entire body fly apart in a bloody, bone-splitting manner. Nothing says committment like eating soup at a sidewalk cafe and having a suicide (homicide) bombers eye fall onto your spoon after he decided to let go.
Christian Bale and George Clooney as Batman vs. Michael Keaton and Val Kilmer as Batman (tag team match)
Ryan: Will Adam West be the special guest referee? I say Bale and Clooney just because Bale was awesome as Batman and Clooney could've been good if the movie wasn't directed by a child with a moderate level of rational thought. I know I'm picking against Lindsey Lohan's Dad in "Herbie: Fully Loaded", but come on...what happened Mr. Keaton?
Steve: I go with Keaton and Kilmer because Keaton is...well, he's Keaton, and Kilmer was Doc Holliday in one of the best movies of all time. People fail to understand that Keaton was blacklisted from a lot of different projects when he declined to reprise his role as Batman after Batman Returns. The guy is a phenomenal actor, and Kilmer's Tombstone performance alone outshines anything that George "I'm a smug piece of crap who is very much in love with my head-tilt" Clooney. Bale is awesome, but teamed with Clooney, he gets over-shadowed by a guy who probably has his own picture in his wallet.
George Bush selection of new Supreme Court Justice vs. PowerBall selection of new Supreme Court Justice
Ryan: Powerball baby!! At least then we wouldn't have the most jaded and ridiculous selection process on Earth. Consider, we actually pick people to sit on the Supreme Court, the branch of government that interprets the Constitution, by trying to find people who appear moderate but actually have pre-conceived opinions to cases that haven't even happened yet!! You know what? The best thing that could happen to the Supreme Court is to have a career truck driver named Virgil Clive be a justice on the Supreme Court. I can't wait to read his opinions!!
Steve: I go with George selecting his picks for the sole reason that I tend to feel better when I make my choices in life after watching Bush make ANY choice. When he picked that old lady, I felt so much better about my choosing to have all the rain forests mowed down, or choosing the Huskers to win over, oh I don't know, KANSAS.
Angelina Jolie is a great humanitarian vs. Angelina Jolie is a dirty, homewrecking (word that rhymes with "boar")
Ryan: I'm going to leave you with what you want here, so I'm going to begrudgingly say that at least she did adopt an Ethiopian boy. And then handed him over to her staff of nannies and sets up his allowance through her agent.
Steve: I go with the homewrecker. Nothing cries "AWWW YEAH" like Angelina when she sets her sights on some fresh married beefsteak. Going with this opens us up to the possibility of tabloid pictures in compromising situations, as well. I'm waiting for her to have some home movies stolen.
Bill Callahan throat slash "gesture" vs. Bill Callahan actually cutting a ref's throat
Ryan: I think the most effective thing to improve ref's calls would be the actual death of a referee at the hands of a coach. I think a throat-slashing would be a great way to go. The call happens, the ref backs up to the line, and then Callahan pulls out a shiv, cuts the throat, and then palms it to his defensive coordinator and tries to deny the slashing even though it's all over the jumbotron. Sorry, ref...that's not a reviewable call. No flag, FIRST DOWN!!!
Steve: I concede on this one. Sharpen up.
Pic farked up (quite nicely) by TwilightendZone
4 comments:
Okay, here we go again.
Bombers
First of all Ryan, your whole carpet bombing idea is just ludicrous! The idea that we should just bomb the 10 largest cities of any nation who disagrees with us is not what I expect from an intelligent person like you. Think of the unnecessary deaths that would result from such a policy. You really need to think these things through before you post. One, two cities tops and most nations will get the picture and concede. Then, once in a blue moon when 10 cities is necessary...then okay. But not to start.
Steve, I have to agree with you because I've had eyeball soup and it is best when the eyeballs are fresh.
Batman
I liked the new Batman movie and I did not like the rest of them. I can cite problems across the board with the Keaton flicks and after that they just got plain silly.
But...Christian Bale is English. Batman is United Statesish.
There you go.
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan...ARE YOU MAD?!?!?
I come from a long line of truck drivers. My dad, grandpa, and all of my uncles. I even have an aunt who drove a truck and I'm here to tell you buddy that you do not want these people setting precedent. They yell, drink, swear, and fight entirely too much and these are their best qualifications.
Okay, when I was a kid my dad used to accuse me of stuff I didn't do and he thought he knew I did but I didn't and he would punish me more than normal because I wouldn't admit it. My experience is that most of these guys are all a bunch of @#*%(rhymes with brother truckers)
By the way, I will remind you both that it is widely accepted that Bush's first appointee is one of the, if not the, greatest legal minds of our time.
Angelina
Steve: You act as if Brad Pitt had no say in the matter. Here is a guy who had to choose between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Anniston and we blame it all on Angelina? I'm sorry pal, but thos poor ethiopian children will soon have to consider Brad "the Pig" their new step daddy. Who's wrecking who's home now? BOOYA!!!
Ryan: Read my previous post about being raised by truckers. I only wish my parents would have been rich enough to ignore me. That would have been great. As it is, I was cruel entertainment for a slow TV night and we didn't have cable until I was in junior high school. It still hurts.
Throat slash
I struggle with this one. I guess I agree with you guys but there is still something bothering me.
Do the refs suck worse than the Huskers? I mean a bad call is a bad call but when you complain about bad calls and your team sucks really really bad you risk sounding like a complainer.
I guess what I'm saying is that any college football fan worth his salt knows that you have to beat the other team and the officials and I'm just not ready to lay blame at the feet of the officials for our poor showing.
If you want to blame someone blame Tom Osborne. Dr. Tom hand picked that short coach we had for a few years and this guy seemed to only recruit...oh I don't know...UP HIS ASS!!!!
That's all I have for today. I do want to compliment the two of you for reviving this forum. I hope that this can be seen as a place to come and share and grow so that the world can be a better place for me.
Until next time, keep your powder dry...sph
Besides the Keaton blasphemy, I want to address the Brad Pitt issue. I fully acknowledge he had a say in the matter. In fact, I assumed any guy would get it.
"Hmm, I could stay with nicey-nice Jennifer Aniston, or get it on with freakzilla, who may physically injure me in the process."
How does Brad say no to that? I think he counted on Jennifer Aniston to be a little more co-dependant, however. As for the Ethiopian children, well, they can whine and click all they want, but their mom is still Angelina Jolie.
Yum.
Awesome pic of the future death of official, Steve. LOVE IT.
Ryan
HA!! Thanks! My brother did that.
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